


Dark Promise: Year One

by Kitten23



Series: The Dark Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ancient Magical Laws, BDSM, Child Abus, Child Neglect, Child Sexual Abuse, Dark Magic, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Safe Sane and Consensual, Threesome, Torture, Underage Sex, Violence, cross dressing, soul bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 05:30:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1970754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitten23/pseuds/Kitten23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>15 year old Severus discovers that Tom Riddle, The Dark Lord, wants him as his Consort. As his Consort Severus would become The Dark Prince. But with years separating their agreement and their Ceremony, Severus must learn the hard way what it means to be The Dark Prince as he learns and studies The Ancient Laws of the Magical Universe that bind him and Tom together  all the way to their souls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The first one The Dark Serpent God, is a creation story of my universe. It is mentioned through the other six parts, but if the Dark Serpent God is read, then you already have an understanding of what I am talking about. I have all seven parts written but I didn't want to post them without them being finished though few warnings: Blood play/blood magic, BDSM, under age sexual encounters, homosexuality, cross dressing, m-preg, child abuse, and child neglect and child sexual abuse. I really hope you all enjoy this. This is officially the first three chapters of my, legacy, really. I have worked for almost a year on all seven parts of this.

Disclaimer: I own Nothing. Except Shiba and Leliana from book one.

Prologue Dark Promise 

Severus stood in the crowd and watched with sick horror as the Dark Lord threw a woman on to the harsh stone floor. "You will turn her over. You will tell me where you are hiding her." The Dark Lord spat down at the woman crumpled on the floor. She looked up at him with a look of pure contempt. "Never! I will never give her over to you!" "Then you will die!" He said as he raised his wand. "Good then, her whereabouts will die with me!" She spat blood onto the ground. "At least then she will be safe!" Severus grimaced as she screamed as she was crucioed once again. 

"Enough! No more! Don't hurt her anymore!" He heard himself scream and felt himself lurch involuntarily forward into the clearing. "Who are you to tell me what to do? You are nothing to me, and you have no place to tell me how to run things." The Dark Lord hissed into his face with one of his hands wrapped around Severus' throat like a vice.

"She won't give her up, My Lord. Kill her if you must but do not torture her any longer when you will not get any results. Don't you see? You are asking her to turn over her baby. She would rather die than do it. My Lord please, do not punish her any longer for something that she cannot help. Think about if it were your child...our child. You would rather die than give him or her over, wouldn't you?" Severus' hand shook and he reached up and laid his hand over the Dark Lord's. "Please...let her go, or just kill her. Let's move on with the meeting, My Lord." 

The Dark Lord glowered as he lowered his wand. He looked down at her. Then he turned and looked to Bellatrix, "Get rid of her...but do not maim or kill her. Just obliviate her. If her memory stays intact, she'll expose us all." She bowed out of the meeting, dragging the woman out with her. The woman looked up at Severus and smiled with gratitude as two streaks of tears flowed through the blood caked on her face. He suddenly felt his head being wrenched back by his long hair. He looked into the angry face of the Dark Lord standing over him.

"If she exposes us, it will be you I will kill. And do not think your outburst will go unpunished, after the meeting...you and I will have a much needed little talk." He pushed Severus away and onto the ground. He sneered down at him. "Until the end of the meeting, however, you will kneel before me." 

****

Severus whimpered as he experienced the pain of the Cruciotous curse. It felt as though his entire body was on fire. He felt his head being pulled back and a mouth against his ear. "The sooner you scream, boy, the sooner we can move on." His face was shoved back down against the ground. The pain increased as the curse doubled. He moaned deep in his throat, and it only continued to worsen. Soon he realized he was screaming. As soon as he started the pain receded and ebbed to a dull pain. 

"Well, get up." The fifteen year old tried to move, but found he couldn't. "What, you can't take a little curse? Maybe I was wrong about you." Severus bit his tongue hard enough to taste blood as he somehow gathered enough strength to sit up and after a few tries to eventually stand up in front of the Dark Lord. "Oh look there's life in you yet. Now sit back down." Severus saw a chair materialize next to the Dark Lord's throne. Still very aware that the Dark Lord was watching him, he made his way as quickly as possible to the cushioned chair. He lowered himself down into it carefully. He slowly looked up. His Lord had taken his throne somewhere along the line of him torturing him. To Severus it felt like only seconds he had been laying there, but he was starting to worry he might have passed out. 

He lowered his eyes again. He wondered if he had messed himself like he had seen countless others do. He blushed as he realized he was wearing a pair of baggy sweat pants, he had messed himself. 'Oh Salizar. I'm REALLY dead now. How horridly embarrassing'. He blushed even redder as he saw his master sneer. In his weakened state he had allowed his mental barriers to drop. He tried to concentrate on them but found he couldn’t raise them. Either he was too weak or he was doing something. 

"Well, didn't you have something you wanted to discuss with me?" Voldemort bit out. Severus felt tears flood his eyes. Now he wasn't so sure. Maybe he mistook kindness for fondness, and dare he even think it, love. Maybe he had screwed up...because the monster before him wasn't the man who had mentored him, talked with him, and even shown him favoritism. Maybe Severus had been wrong. As soon as he realized he was thinking these things, he was mortified. He was truly an open book that the Dark Lord could happily enjoy reading. As his humiliation grew so did his master's amusement. Before long he was crying as the man on the throne laughed heartlessly. 

After a few minutes however, The Dark Lord showed mercy to his favorite Death Eater. "Oh, come now, Severus. I'm just teasing you. Please don't cry anymore." Severus noticed with amazement that his chair had floated up in front of the Dark Lord. "Now, I want this to be an open conversation...no secrets, that's why I'm not allowing you to raise your mental barriers. I am not so completely cruel that I would do it without a need to. Now, Severus...do you want to talk to me?" 

Severus reached up and wiped his eyes. "I don't know My Lord. I did, but now I don't think I do. I think I must have been imagining things." He hic-upped out. 

"Why do you think you were imagining things?" He asked sweetly, giving Severus plenty of time to think.

"I thought you wanted me as your consort. And it made me mad to see you do that to that lady. I just kept thinking 'No he would never ask any parent for this, if he truly wants children of his own.' So I was wrong. Really wrong. I apologize My Lord. I will make it up to-" 

"You will make it up me by NEVER undermining me again. I am the Dark Lord. Not you. Do you understand me?" He snarled out. Severus jumped and flinched. "Yes my lord. Never Ever Ever again." 

"Now what if I told you that you weren't mistaken or wrong? That I was doing only what I thought necessary?" He whispered out gently. Severus stopped cowering then and looked up in confusion. The look in his Lord's eye was enough to make him realize. 

"Aw there, you see now, don't you? Yes I am a monster. And no, I wouldn't hand over our son or daughter; I would kill the bastard that was trying to take him or her from us. I want you to be very sure about this. I want you to accept it. Do you understand what I'm saying? It would be three years of courting, of you learning your new place and status. Then as you turn eight-teen a coronation for the both of us, binding us together according to the ancient laws. If you ever want out, ever want to separate, it has to be done the same way as the initial binding ceremony...with a Dark Priestess. This would be unthinkable...as that is the last thing I want for us. But eternity is an awfully long time. And after today I wouldn't be very surprised if you refused."

Severus blinked his eyes as he processed the information. Then unbelieving he asked. "You...want me?" Tom felt his heart start to melt as leaned over and took Severus tangled hands in his own. He looked into the boys' eyes and breathed out his response. Nothing grand, not a huge declaration, but enough to be perfect. 

"Yes, Severus, I do."


	2. Two Days Later

Chapter 1: Two days later

Disclaimer: I own Nothing.

Severus sat on the stone bench in the garden as he watched the Death Eaters around him train. He dropped his head as he sat there, and thought about the other night. A consort? The Dark Lord wanted a consort? More importantly he wanted Severus to be his consort? Merlin that was a lot to take in. So much to the point that he was unable to concentrate on his own training. He was incredibly overwhelmed with all that he would be faced with. He would continue to train as a Death Eater, but he would also be training and learning how to be his consort, his husband, his prince and if the need ever raised, the Dark Lord. He understood that he had an oath to fulfill if anything were to ever to happen to Tom, he would be under oath to take his place until their children were old enough to take his place. 

He couldn't believe it. All of his dreams were coming true. Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. He looked up to see the Dark Lord standing there, with his hands clasped behind his back and his chin rose. Severus stammered while he stumbled into standing. Tom made no action at Severus' antics and waited for the boy to stand and look up at him. "Would you care to explain to explain why you are not training with your fellow followers?" Severus bowed his head and nodded it. "I am having trouble concentrating sir. I cannot seem to stop thinking about the other night. It is distracting." He answered. Tom watched him and smiled. "Walk with me." He started to walk around the garden that served as his training ground and observed the followers around him. 

Lilly was currently conjuring lightening and sparing with Narcissa who was combating with air, water and of course ice. He required all of his Death Eaters to train in certain things, both light and dark. A neutral part of magic was easily elemental magic. Or at least the physical aspects of it were, the spiritual aspects were another story...some people could only do certain things. Lilly for example can control light. She can bring tight to darkness, while on the other hand she cannot bring darkness to light. Just because he made them all train in certain types of magic doesn't mean they can all perform a certain type. The purpose of their training was to eliminate the things that were absolutely out of their ability range, to strengthen their weaknesses, and to find something that they could master and perfect. Some could do more than one; these were the ones who would become his elite. While others had to put every ounce of their training into mastering only one.

And some were only ever meant to be followers, were meant to stay off the battlefield, and meant to hold down the home front. These were the people who gave others a reason to fight. A wife, or husband, a child, a friend. These were the people who comforted the battle hardened war heroes even if it was only with a nice hot bowl of soup they had made in the kitchen. Tom valued these types of followers; they kept everything going and kept everything grounded. These were people like Pete. He could see the little boy following three paces behind like instructed.

He turned his head and looked at Severus. The boy was watching him anxiously, only to snap his head away and pretend to be examining the ground. Tom smiled before he said. "You'll never learn anything if you let your nerves and imagination run away with you. You above all others must remain focused. Especially because of your new status." Severus looked up at him with confusion on his face. "Pardon my confusion, but I didn't think that I had the status of Consort all ready?" Tom laughed at Severus' ignorance. "Oh, of course you don't. But you are training to be my consort. That in itself raises your status quite a bit. People already know your name and are treating you with more respect. Think of how much that would be doubled when you actually take your vows." Severus nodded his head in understanding, though not necessarily liking being laughed at. The Dark Lord loved to laugh at him and poke fun. He honestly didn't know what to think of it sometimes. It made interpreting the Dark Lord's feelings very hard. "So get back to work and don't let me catch you slacking again, unless you are given permission by me to slack." Severus frowned and nodded his head before he turned away. 

The boy was so reserved; he couldn't even take some good hearted teasing. With a lump in his chest Tom realized that he would have to dial back the teasing and dial up the praise if he were to ever get anywhere with the boy. "Wait Severus, come back for a minute." When Severus was standing in front of him again, he smiled at him. "I am however immensely proud of all you have already accomplished. I'm looking to send you a parcel; I require your home address." Severus' eyes widened and his face paled. "Are you alright?" Tom asked, only to see Severus shake his head. 

"Please sir do not do that. My father does not take kindly to random owls or birds pecking on the house windows at night. It might result in a tragic....accident for the owl." Tom raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. "Am I to understand that he would kill the creature for disturbing him?" Severus winced and nodded. It was with this that Tom casted another look at the boys appearance. Was his appearance the evidence of child abuse and neglect, or just a teenage boy who cared very little about what he looked like? 

"Severus...you would tell me if he ever did anything, wouldn't you?" Severus started to fidget where he stood and Tom felt a tightening in his throat. "Hmm, seeing as I cannot send the parcel to you...accompany me back to the manor and I will just give it to you." They walked back to the manor; Severus looked around at the outside of it. He had never seen this part of it before. The throne room was over on the other side of the manor. This side was where the Dark Lord lived. Severus swallowed thickly. He would be living here someday too. 

"Step lively. The library is on the other side." Severus did as he was instructed but looked around him at was surly to be his home. He saw people milling about. People who he knew to be upper circle and elite. These people were considered family status. The new recruits were not at that level of status, even if they were well on their way. All expect Pete, who still followed behind obediently. He was a slave and servant more than family though, but he had seen how the Dark Lord looked at him. The Dark Lord treated him this way because he saw the happiness it brought to Pete, and that in return made the Dark Lord happy, he was affectionate with Pete in his own way. 

They walked past a room that was filled with dark leather furniture, and sitting on the love seat was an older man, roughly the same age as Tom. The man was drinking a glass of alcohol and was busy romancing a younger man. Many of the people he had seen were all older. With realization, he understood that these older people had to be the original Death Eaters. The very first to serve their Dark Lord. 

"Yes, they attended Hogwarts with me thirty-two years ago. We were mates in school. They witnessed my rise to power and rose with me, while simultaneously pledging their loyalty to me. They are older now, and since they do not have my level of power, they aged far more quickly than I did, I retired them. Which is all well and good, their children and grandchildren fill the void that they left. They are still my followers but do not attend meetings or raids. They are much too old to be bothered with that, their words not mine. They'd rather marry and remarry and have children and have affairs and have children with those people. They truly are old men and women. They do not have the stamina that I will always have. I think of many of them as brothers and sisters. Ah, here we are. Come now, in we go." Severus followed him into the library and looked around him. He watched him walk over to a pair of books on an end table, as well as a few other things. 

"Ah here. These are for you. Except this, this is my half." Severus looked at the book, a small hand mirror and the velvet bag. "The book is a journal. It can serve as a normal journal, a place for you to write. Or it can serve as a two-way journal. That means that if you write in it, it will also appear in mine and alert me. This is most particularly used for communication. Or you can just write whatever and it will alert me. This is best served in a mentor/protégé manor. Meaning I can work with you on certain things through the book, essays and such. Which you will have. As I instruct you to read certain books about being a consort, you will be required to write about your thoughts on such books...this will determine whether or not you are retaining what you read and learn. However, if you are comfortable with me reading your thoughts and feelings about everyday life, then I will do that as well. Keep in mind; you can determine which will be seen by me. While some you don't have a problem with me reading, you might feel completely the opposite about something else. If you just want me to be able to read your work, but it is not necessary to have me alerted to them, then you can turn off the alert setting for that entry. There is an entire book of instructions, if you get confused. The mirror is also two way. It can serve as a normal mirror as you have to speak my name to activate it. And the bag has some personal effects I wish to give you. Gifts, if you will."

Then as an afterthought he added, "And this card." Severus watched him pull out a card out of one of the drawers in his desk. "I have linked your funds to mine. Just don't exceed a thousand galleons and any purchase you make is fine with me." Severus took the card with shaking fingers.

Severus stood there trying to take everything in. He then looked up at Tom and smiled up at him. Tom smiled back unsurely and the look in Severus' eye was enough to make his insides feel fuzzy. He couldn't wait for the rest of their life to start and he knew Severus felt the same. 

Later that night Severus hung the two way mirror on a plain silver chord and slipped it over his head. He looked at the silver bracelet around his wrist, with a sole charm hanging from it. The note in the velvet bag had explained that in the wizarding world, giving a charm to someone was like making a commitment. He stared at the snake and iris charm and smiled. The explanation the Dark Lord had given was that Severus was like an innocent flower that was about to be devoured by a hungry snake. The note had also described that if he held the charm and spoke 'The Dark Lord' in to it, it'd take him to where ever the Dark Lord was. It was an open ended portkey. He had explained that all of the under aged recruits had an object like this. It was true, their robes were one, and their Dark Mark was another. But this was special. It wasn't made for some regular recruit, it was made for him. He picked up the Journal and inscribed that it was the property of the half blood prince. 

The first page was already full of his lord's writing. It was an explanation that in a few days, he would take his apprentice consort vows and take the mark of such a person. It ended with 'until then, my dark prince'. Severus fell asleep with a smile on his lips.  
"I'm his dark prince."


	3. Of Promises Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pre-Wedding Ceremony. Severus signs the contract promising him to be The Dark Lord's wedded Consort on his eighteenth birthday. songfic!!! yay!!!

I swear by the moon  
And the stars in the sky  
And I swear like the Shadow   
That's by your side

It was a grand affair, the consort in training ceremony. Supporters, followers, families and Death Eaters from everywhere were coming. Severus showed up on that morning, well showered and groomed. Lucius found him and lead him to a guest room. Laying there on the bed was a set of dress robes. He walked over and picked it up and looked at it. The trousers were black cotton, as was the white button up shirt and under shirt. It had a silk vest that buttoned smartly over the white button up, and the actual dress robe was velvet. The set came complete with black socks and black dress shoes. The vest had green snake details embrioded onto it, as did the robe. 

He gulped and sat down onto the bed. 'Merlin, this is actually happening.' He thought to himself. He didn't really know exactly what to feel about all of this. The week had gone by so fast. Severus hardly felt he had enough time to breath and inhale it all in. Just yesterday he and the Dark Lord were going over the Official, law binding contract that he and the Dark Lord had drawn up, and the Dark Priestess had approved. He knew what it said, had asked every question he had and had agreed to sign it at the ceremony. He supposed this was a pretty big deal. Of course it was, and the official events would be even grander. He slowly dressed and examined himself, Merlin, he looked good. 

There was a soft knock at the door and he opened it, curiously wondering who it was. It was Lily of course. She was in every sense of the term, giving him away. This blasted ceremony was practically a wedding, official or not. He looked her up and down and felt a fist tighten on his heart. His best friend looked gorgeous. She had on a lily white dress. It was short and stopped barely at mid-thigh; it had a high slit on the right side that went all most to her waist. It had a deep v-neck that showed off her cleavage. The bodice of the lily white dress had lavender sequence, lace and silk details that slid around her waist and continued into a long, frilly, tiered, floor length train. Then she finished it off with lavender fish net stockings, a lace garter on her right leg, and white open toed heels. Her long, fiery hair fell in loose curls down her back and clipped into her hair was a white lily; she had simple but classic silver jewelry on. 

She smiled as she two gave him a look. She came in and hugged him. "Of Sev I'm so happy for you. The two of you are going to be very happy together. If not now, latter, when you're older. How are you feeling?" She said as she broke the hug and sat on the bed. Severus noticed then for the first time that she had a box in her hand. "I'm ok. I'm just nervous. I didn't think the ceremony was going to be so big and public. But I should have guessed. Can you imagine the actual, official, ceremonies?" She nodded then said, "Yes I can actually. People are already calling it the event of the decade if not the century. And you have every right to be scared and nervous, you are pledging yourself completely to one person, that person’s life style, and all of their life endeavors. I would worry if you weren't nervous. Now even if this is supposed to be the 'official consort in training ceremony', what everybody actually calls it is the 'unofficial wedding ceremony.' And you can't have a wedding ceremony, official or not, without 'something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.' can you?" She said as she opened the box. 

Severus saw two bags and two boxes nicely arranged in the box. She lifted out an amber, velvet bag then sighed as she said, "James' father was very happy when he got the announcement, and felt it necessary to give you something, as he has come to think of you as a son. This is something old." He took it, opened it and pulled out a long, tan leather cord. He examined it and saw that it was engraved with runes. He recognized most of them. Peace, happiness, love, tranquility, family, knowledge, truth, delight, enchantment, and prosperity. Then there were newer ones, ones that still felt warm to touch from being burned in to the leather. These were consort, lord, prince, mother, and husband He smiled and looked back at her. "It's beautiful but what is it?" She smiled back sweetly, and then said. "I'll show you in a minute. Now for something blue. Sirius' mother wishes for you to have this. She wasn't using it and she thought it'd make a lovely something blue." She handed him a black leather box with a blue embroided galaxy on it. "It's lovely." She giggled then explained, "That's only its box. Open it. “And when he did, he felt his knees go weak and he was forced to sit on the vanity stool that sat in front of the vanity mirror. ”Merlin's cock and ass! Are these real-" he broke off and looked down into the box. She pulled herself off the bed and came to stand behind him. She took the comb out of the box and began to comb it through his black hair. "Yes, it’s real sterling silver, and the stones are real sapphires, blue diamonds, amethyst, jade, and onyx. She used the comb to gather his hair into a high pony tail and handed him the comb. "The leather cord please." He wordlessly handed it to her as he examined the comb. It had shooting stars, planets, moons, and black holes on it. A picture painted purely of gems and silver. "Lils, this is too much! It's not even an actual wedding!" He exclaimed. She angrily thumped him on the head. "Even if it's not, it feels like it is to us all, and it should feel like it especially to you." She nagged and grabbed the comb from his hands. She secured it into his hair at the base of the pony tail. 

He examined himself and realized that the only reason why he was protesting so much was because he did feel it too, probably more so than anyone else. He bit his lip in thought and was soon startled as she handed him a pink silk bag. "Something borrowed. I asked all our friends if they wanted to contribute, and they all said that they already had a present for the big day. And that I should be one to contribute something, as I'm giving you away and that I’ve known you since before Hogwarts. It's only borrowed so I want it back." He looked at the white hanckerchif with embroided lilies on it and smiled at her through the mirror. "But I do want to actually give you something as well. We've never exchanged them before and I thought today was the perfect occasion to start." She handed him a small black, velvet box. He opened it and laughed. "Is this a charm?" "Yes, for your bracelet. Do you remember how I made the flower grow in my palm and she called me a freak. And how then you made the leaves fly like little cranes?" He nodded as he looked at the flower and leaf charm, symbolic of the day they first met. She took it and clipped it on. She turned his face to hers and stared into his eyes. 

 

"I know you loved me once, that you were once in love with me. Before I got together with James and before you realized you were gay. I knew Severus, how you felt about me, but I also knew that one day your longing and passion for me would fade when you realized what your sexuality was. I knew from the start that you were destined for a prince charming to come save you, not to rescue a damsel in distress. I knew and I wasn't going to take that chance away from you. The chance to find love and to have love find you. Especially when I knew that it wasn't me who would make you happy in the end. I'm sorry for the hurt I caused you, but you have to understand why I did it. You do understand don't you?" She asked.

He stared back her, slowly nodding his head. "You'll always be special to me though Lily. I don't think anybody, even him, will know me inside and out like you do. He uses leglimency to do it, you just do it. You always have." He whispered out. She pressed their foreheads together before she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "I know. I feel the same way about you. I always have. You will always know me in a way James cannot, and you will always have a place in my heart that James cannot touch. That nobody can and will touch." They embraced and tears slid down his face. She pulled back and checked the time. "Come on, my Dark Prince. The ceremony will be beginning soon."

As they neared the throne room where the ceremony was taking place Severus felt his nervousness escalate into gripping fear. He looked at her and said, "Lily, I don't think I can do this." He said as he slowed to a walk. Then his eyes grow wide when he heard the guests and he felt sick to his stomach. "I- I don't know if I want to do this anymore! I'm so young- I only just turned fifteen! Do I really want to do this so soon? I mean-" Severus exclaimed but was soon cut off by Lily. "Severus! Calm down, your starting to ramble!" She snapped then the sound of music coming from the throne room sounded their cue to come in. "Shit!" She said in horror, and then turned to see that Severus had paled by three shades. "Severus, listen to me, you've got to pull yourself together. He's waiting for you!" Severus continued to pale and began to slowly retreat. She gaped and grabbed his arms, not letting him away. 

I see the questions in your eyes  
I know what's weighing on your mind  
You can be sure I know my Heart  
Cause I stand beside you through the years  
You'll only cry those happy tears  
And though I've made mistakes   
I'll never break your heart

"Oh, no you don't Severus. I know you're scared and I know you're young, but you love him and he loves you!" She explained as she looked at his scared face. "Does he really, Lily? I don't know." He asked. Her face softened and she pulled him in an embrace. When she pulled away she said. "Of course he does. He might not show it, or even know it himself, but the rest of us have seen him look at you. He doesn't look at anyone else the way he looks at you. And you look at him like you once looked at me. He's waiting in there for you Severus, ready to commit to you so as long as you commit to him. He's waiting for you just as he always will be." And as she said it, he realized it was the truth. 

He nodded and walked to the large, oak, double doors. She took her place beside him, took his arm, and together they pushed the doors open. Severus stood there and took in the scene before him. Candles floated above the crowd, the aisle at his feet was of white rose petals, and the guests were sitting on white wooden chairs. They had all stood and were turned towards him. Then there up at the front was a white wooden arch that was covered in white and pink roses, and just beneath stood a black marble altar with a Dark Priestess standing at it. She had an understanding smile and a face full of grace. Then his eyes landed on the Dark Lord. Standing there, with Lucius at his side. He had on black trousers, a black button up shirt, with a dark green silk vest and a black velvet dress robe. His eyes connected with striking green ones that were gazing warmly at him. Severus felt his knees go weak, but not out of fear, but from the look the Dark Lord had in his eyes. Love. He felt Lily squeeze his arm and together they made their way towards the altar, towards the man Severus loved. The entire walk down the aisle, Severus held Tom's gaze, and only ever saw Tom.

And I swear by the moon   
And the stars in the sky  
I'll be there  
I swear like the shadow  
That's by your side  
I'll be there  
For better or worse  
'Till death do us part  
I'll love you with every   
Beat of my heart  
And I swear  
Oooh

Tom was worried, the music had clearly started and that was Lily's cue to come in. Then with a sinking feeling in his stomach he realized that Severus was backing out. He couldn't understand why, though. Severus loved him and he knew Severus would commit to him. Tom also knew that there wasn't anything he'd not do for the boy. He'd by him the world if he could. He'd protect him from anything. He'd give his life for him. This was quite a shock to him, but as he stood there praying for Severus to open the door, he realized it. Lucius leaned over and said quietly into his ear, "Trust him to come My Lord, he loves you. He will come." And there as soon as the words were out of his mouth the door opened. And there he was, his Shah'hee'ay. His loved one, his bonded one, the one he has given his heart to. Their eyes connected and they each knew in an instant how the other felt. They'll be together for eternity, they'll have children and they'll have each other. Their love would never die, it might wither as they do through the years, and it might change as they change, but never would it die.

I'll give you everything I can  
I'll build your dreams   
With these two hands  
We'll hang some   
Memories on the walls

And when just the two of us are left  
You won't have to ask if I still care  
Cause as the times turn the page  
My love won’t age at all

"Dearly beloved, welcome to the consort in training ceremony. This ceremony celebrates that our beloved Lord has finally found someone he deems worthy to stand beside him. This ceremony celebrates the monumental commitment that these two are about to embark on. Though this ceremony does not yet give consort status and level, it does celebrate that this young man, Severus Tobias Snape, has made the conscience decision to be dedicate to learning every last one of our ancient laws in accordance to being a Dark Lords consort, or if need be, Dark Lord himself. It celebrates the complex nature of this relationship and the brave soul that have taken this path. Tomas Marvolo Riddle and Severus Tobias Snape, kneel before me. Lily, the ties." 

Severus stepped forth and kneeled before the altar, across from Tom. They gazed into each other's eyes and every barrier between them no longer existed. They reveled in this moment, completely and totally, as one soul. Severus was barely aware that Lily was binding their hands together. He never noticed when she left. Their hands were tied, clasped together, and simultaneously they remembered when Tom had taken Severus' hands in this very room, only a week ago.

"Lucius, the contract." Severus never saw Lucius walk forward, but only heard the deep, husky voice of the Dark Priestess. "Together you have both written and gone over the contract. And now you will swear to one another the oath you both were destined to take. Severus Tobias Snape, do you swear to become his official consort in training? And do you then swear that after the three customary years of training that you will become his consort, and if he should die, the Dark Lord himself, to fully carry on his legacy until your child can carry it on?"

Severus looked at the man, his eyes swimming in tears. "I, Severus Tobias Snape, do hereby swear to train for the customary three years to become The Dark Lord's consort. I hereby swear that when the three years are over, I will swear once again, my allegiance...as your official consort and husband. I hereby swear that with your untimely death, I will succeed you and carry on your legacy until our children can carry it for you."

"Dearly beloved, this young man has sworn in front of myself and all of you and so it is binding, by myself and the ancient laws." Together they felt a lick of pain on their palms at the base of their thumbs. Then it subsided. "Tomas Marvolo Riddle do you swear to do everything in your power to give him the peace and unconditional love that he will need, every single day he has sworn himself to you? Do you swear to treat him well and be good to him? Do you swear that you acknowledge the sacrifice he is making for you, and that you are making for him? After this day he will be training to be your Dark Prince and once you both go through the coronation, he will be you Consort and husband, and he will be your Dark Prince. Do you swear that you are ready to dedicate yourself to him, just as he is too?" 

"I, Tomas Marvolo Riddle, do hereby swear to do everything in my power to give you peace and unconditional love, for every single day that you have sworn yourself to me. I hereby swear to be better than just good to you and to treat you as the Prince you are and will officially become. I hereby swear that I acknowledge the sacrifice we are each making, and that I am ready to dedicate myself you just you are ready to dedicate yourself to me." 

"Dearly beloved, our Dark Lord has sworn to myself and all of you, and so it is binding, by myself and the ancient laws." Once again they felt a lick of pain at the base of their thumbs, this time sever enough to make them both wince. "And now that The Oath has been taken, they each have their own vows that will reinforce the oath, and are hereby in the contract along with The Oath. You both must keep in mind that if you break a vow or The Oath, without first editing it in the contract, your relationship is in danger as is the law binding contract. Break enough vows and the contract will become null and void. If either of you, especially you Severus, commit suicide in the other’s name, the contract will be null and void. Do you swear that you understand all I have said?" Together they swore. "Now Severus Tobias Snape, your vows." 

And I swear (I swear )  
By the moon  
And the stars in the sky  
I'll be there (I'll be there)  
I swear (And I swear)  
Like the shadow   
That's by your side  
I'll be there (I'll be there)  
For better or worse  
'Till death do us part  
I'll love you with every  
Beat of my heart  
(Every beat of my heart)  
I swear

Severus gulped as he thought over what he composed last night, and then quietly said. "My Dark Lord, I have sworn myself to you. And just as I have sworn my allegiance I will now swear my heart, body, mind, spirit and soul to you. The first time I laid my eyes on you, I knew I wanted you, and now that I have you I vow to love you for eternity, for as long as we both shall live, all the way into the next life even, if it comes to that. I vow that I will never turn you away or purposefully hurt you. I vow that my heart will never belong to anyone other than you. I vow that I will never commit suicide in your name, as I want to love you in our next life, as much as I love you right now. I vow to love you and only you for as long I exist, I vow to have your children and to love them all. Do you accept and acknowledge my vows?"

"Severus, Shash'hee'ay, my little one. I gratefully and graciously accept and acknowledge your vows. I vow to you that no other will have the love for me as you do. I vow to love no other as I love you, now and forever. I vow to never turn you away and never purposefully hurt you. I vow to love you and our children until the end of time and into the next life. I vow to never give you a reason you commit suicide in my name, just as I will never commit suicide in your name, as I want to love you with every single beat of my heart. Do you accept and acknowledge my vows to you?" "I do." Severus said as tears ran down his face. 

The Dark Priestess smiled as said, "Dearly beloved, they have now vowed themselves completely and totally to each other, and as they have done it front of myself and all of you, it is here by binding, by myself and the ancient laws that govern this world." They cried out as pain seared completely down to their bone, binding them together. 

“Now, rise and be unbound as that you may both, as well as your witnesses, sign the Consort Contract. And remember gentlemen, you cannot consummate this. Consummation must wait for the actual, official ceremony." They rose together, gazing into each other’s eyes. Lucius and Lily stepped forward and began to unwind the ribbons and when they were completely unwound, together they looked at the bases of their thumbs on their left hands. They had identical marks, scars, the rune for consort had been burned into their flesh. Slowly they unclasped hands and turned to the altar. Severus, Lily, Tom and Lucius each signed on each of the ten pages and with the last signature, the Dark Priestess', the contract evaporated in a puff of green smoke. 

Severus barely heard the cheers and applause. He had eyes only for his soul mate. He raised his mouth to Tom to give him a chaste kiss, and after Tom held Severus to his chest, and Severus ran his nose, lips and tongue over Tom's collar bone, an intimate gesture that went straight to the Dark Lord’s soul, better than a lustful kiss.

And I swear (I swear )  
By the moon  
And the stars in the sky  
I'll be there (I'll be there)  
I swear (And I swear)  
Like the shadow   
That's by your side  
I'll be there (I'll be there)  
For better or worse  
'Till death do us part  
I'll love you with every single  
Beat of my heart  
(Every single beat of my heart)  
I swear  
I swear  
I swear

Severus raised his face again and Tom peered down at him. Tom felt his heart stop as he read Severus' lips and only just barely heard his whispered words. "I swear, My Lord."


	4. Training: Two Weeks Later

Chapter 3: Training-two weeks latter

Severus sat there, in the library studying. Once the Dark Lord had learned that Severus' father kept his trunk with his summer homework locked away, he had taken it up himself to fill all the educational gaps Severus had endured. He had been angry when Severus had told him that most of the time he'd just copy off Lily or Regulas. He had made his mind up to test Severus in every year, to determine his level of intelligence. Severus had gotten almost everything right, gap or no gap. The things he needed to work on, he was working on them. On top of that he was continuing his extensive learning and studying of the ancient laws concerning courtship, marriage, being a consort, and eventually if necessary being a Dark Lord himself, he had studied for a week before he took his consort in training ceremony. They would have an official Consort Ceremony, Lord Carination and Wedding Ceremony when the customary three years are up. They used their books for many things. Severus would make notes and Tom would add to them or tell him to word it differently...real teacher stuff. Severus looked down at his hand and smiled. The mark Tom had mentioned was in fact a rune that was burned into the base of his thumb on the inside of his hand. The rune meant consort, simple and honest. He'd get one for every year he was his consort in training. He remembered bowing before the Dark Priestess and reciting the vows he had learned. After this though he could chose what the rune was. He looked back down at the journal and continued his studying. 

On top of school work and consort work, there was also Death Eater training. Severus stood across from Lily in the training ground and sized her up...what element was she going to use? Lily was best at lighter elements, things like spirit, light and air. They were currently studying elemental magic. He saw the air around her swirl as she controlled it. He nodded and quickly came up with a strategy. He snapped his fingers and a long, narrow blade that was curved like a snake appeared in his hand. He waited for her to make the first move, then all of the sudden a tornado was coming at him. He dodged it and quickly raised the blade to his wrist. He brought it down and felt the blood flow, but did not wince. He saw the tornado correct its course and quickly he raised his hands, making a wall of blood appear before him, shielding him. He back flipped out of the way and sent a wave of blood at her. She created her own wall of wind and kept him at bay. Severus growled lowly then retreated back. He turned and quickly ran up the tree behind him. He braced himself against it as he quickly slit his other wrist. He jumped off and faced her again. He raised both arms and created large bloody arms that he controlled with his own arms.

He swung one and smacked her in the face; she flew back and landed on her back. He jumped on her to finish the fight but was interrupted by the Dark Lord and was called back. Lily stood up and held her face in her palm. With a nod of his head she retreated back only to have James take her place. "Begin" He looked at the earth wielder and gulped. The Dark Lord was testing him. He took a defensive stance and got ready. All of the sudden a boulder flew at him, and he caught with the arms he had created. He hurled it back at him and James stopped it with a wave of his hand. Severus barred his teeth and dodged every barricade James put between them and jumped on him. James raised his arms and used the earth to protect his face. Severus used his blade and cut James deeply. He then began to pull James' blood from his body and added it to the arms he had created. It had just the effect he had wanted. It weakened James, as well as his magic, and gave Severus more blood to work with, efficiently making his attacks stronger. He held James' head between his knees and delivered punch after punch to the stone wall James was using to shelter his face. Then in an adrenalin fueled annoyance, Severus punched in his unprotected torso. James howled in pain and dropped his defenses. Severus grabbed him by the hair and punched James with a good fifty pounds of weight. "Enough! Lucius, take James to the infirmary! Settle down, Severus." Severus bowed deep and retreated to the side.

After their training was over he went to the infirmary and checked on his friend. "I'm so sorry Jamie. I was annoyed with...him and I was trying to live up to his expectations. He was testing me...I couldn't disappoint him... we have a lot invested in each other, already." 

James was lying on the bed watching him. "You don't have to apologize. I knew I was going to get it bad when he sent me in. It was so obviously a test for you. And I know how much you care for him, so I still did it anyway. Just next time give me some warning before you both rupture my stomach and break my face again." James said with a smile on his face. Severus laughed and kissed his forehead. 

As he was walking away, James called out to him. "You're going to be the best."


	5. Who Says

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom discovers Severus living situation, and is very unhappy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. Warnings: Mentions of child abuse and cross dressing. Get used to the cross dressing, it only gets more revealing.

Chapter 4- Who says

I wouldn't want to be anybody else  
You made me insecure  
Told me I wasn't good enough  
But who are you to judge  
When you're a diamond in the rough

Tom had figured it out. He had seen him one day on accident. Severus had been training and he had been beaten by his sparing partner. Only because he had been sore from the night before. His father had come home drunk. And as always, had kicked and beat the shit out of Severus. Severus had spent the night sobbing. He could survive this, he could. He fought people three days a week and won. He surly could handle a few bruises and broken bones, surely. Only he actually couldn't and Narcissa had kicked his ass. Tom had tried to make him go to the infirmary with Lucius, but he wouldn't do it. He even limped away and left the training ground. He had been in the bathroom, gently inspecting his ribs. Merlin, he was sure most of them were cracked at least. Then the door opened and Tom saw.

I'm sure you've got some  
Things you'd like to change about your self  
But when it comes to me  
I wouldn't want to be anybody else  
Nana nana nana nana nana nana  
I'm no beauty queen I'm just beautiful me  
Nana nana nana nana nana nana  
You've got every right to a beautiful life  
Com’on

"I'm nobody you need to worry about, my dad was just angry. I probably deserved it. So just forget you saw ok?" Severus had sobbed out, they were in Tom's office and Tom was angrily pacing. 

"What did you just say? Did you just say that you're nobody I need to worry about? You are my consort Severus! Out of everybody else you are the person I worry about the most!" He bellowed as he yanked Severus' hand into view and raised his own by its side. "We both took an oath and said vows that day, you silly child!"

Severus ripped his arm out of Tom's grasp. "You don't need to worry about me! I'm nothing, I'm worth nothing. I'm just a burden to everybody! I'm only in the way!" Severus was the one pacing now. Tom stood there, a hand over his mouth. He watched as Severus collapsed onto the floor and sat there sobbing great heaving sobs that shook his slender shoulders. He walked over and sat on the floor beside him. He took Severus' chin his hand and raised his eyes to his.

"You really believe that don't you? Well it's a lie Severus. A damn, bloody lie."

Who says who says  
You're not perfect  
Who says you're not worth it  
Who says you're the only one hurting  
Trust me thats the price of beauty  
Who says you're not pretty  
Who says you're not beautiful  
Who says

"I don't care what your father's told you. Put it out of your mind. Instead listen to me, my opinion of you is the only one that matters." He gazed into Severus' bloodshot eyes and slid his thumb along Severus' bottom lip. 

"You're beautiful Severus. So incredibly beautiful. You'll be even more beautiful when you're older. No matter how you change, you'll still be beautiful to me." Severus looked away with tears falling down his face. Tom pulled his chin back up and pressed their foreheads together. "Ssh. You're okay. I'm right here, calm down." Tom said as he wrapped his arms around Severus.

It's such a funny thing  
How nothins funny when it's you

"And you are not a burden. And you certainly are worth everything."  
He said as he brushed Severus' hair aside.  
"You're just saying that because you want me for your consort." Severus said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.  
"No. With or without me you're worth so much. If you had no worth you wouldn't have even been born. Everybody has a worth."  
Severus looked him in the eyes and smiled. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Tom's. Tom chastely returned the kiss then pulled away and simply held Severus in his arms.

You tell them what you mean  
But they keep whitin out the truth  
It's like a work of art  
That never gets to see the light  
Keep you beneath the stars  
Won't let you touch the sky

As it was still very early Tom took Severus to his bedroom, gave him pajamas to wear and let him sleep while talked to his lawyer, Albert.  
As Severus slept he dreamed of his father beating him, then suddenly the man turned into a blanket that was smothering him. Severus threw it off of him and looked around him. He was standing in a sunny knoll and all around him were children playing and laughing. Some older, some younger. Children and Grand Children. He saw a young man with black hair and dark eyes surrounded by two other young men. The three of them were sitting on the green grass, watching three little boys run around. The young man's eyes connected with Severus' and the young man smiled and blew a kiss. He returned the gesture then turned and saw Tom standing on the hill, looking out into the horizon. Severus walked to him and wrapped his arms around him. Tom looked at him and smiled. The sun was setting and the sky was lit with vibrant colors. He sighed in awe. 

Nana nana nana nana nana nana  
I'm no beauty queen I'm just beautiful me  
Nana nana nana nana nana nana  
You've got every right to a beautilf life

Severus woke up panting. He sat there and realized that he had just had a prophecy. He was going to have children with Tom and they would have their children. He was going to have a son, who in turn would have three sons. He unconsciously laid a hand on his stomach and smiled. Tom was right, Severus did have a worth. His worth was to be happy and to have children and be in love. Tom was right even without him in Severus' life, Severus' worth would still be the same, and Tom just made that worth take shape.

Comon' on  
Who says who says  
You're not perfect  
Who says you're not worth it  
Who says you're the only one hurting  
Trust me thats the price of beauty  
Who says you're not pretty  
Who says you're not beautiful  
Who says

Severus climbed out of the bed and walked in to the bathroom. He flicked on the light and smiled at what he saw in the mirror. He saw himself; sure he looked haggard, exhausted, beaten and broken. But this was him in his truest form, and he was beautiful and worth a million galleons...no a million children, a million grandchildren and millions of years of love. He touched his face and smiled. He was beautiful as he was, no matter how he looked or what he wore, his soul was what made him beautiful, and the Dark Lord had chosen him for his soul. But that didn't mean Severus couldn't make improvements and now, after seeing how beautiful his life would be, he suddenly felt like shopping.

He quickly dressed and opened the door to the privet sitting room. Tom was there talking with the old man Severus had seen almost two weeks ago. "Ahh, you're awake. This is Albert my Lawyer. I'm pressing charges on you're father, the Muggle way. I run risk of exposing myself if we tried to take this to wizarding court. So he's going to contact a few muggle Lawyers and try to set up a team. He said you might need to testify. And don't even think about going back there, because that is not happening." Tom explained. Severus leaned over to him and gazed into eyes. "Whatever you think is right My Lord, and I'll testify, gladly. Can we go shopping?"

Who says you're not star potential  
Who says you're not presidential  
Who says you can't be in movies  
Listen to me, listen to me  
Who says you don't pass the test  
Who says you can't be the best  
Who said,who said  
Would you tell me who said that  
Yaaa, Who said

Tom was confused when they had entered a woman's store, until it occurred to him that Severus wanted to dress this way. Severus was already talking with a sales lady who looked happily at Severus. She nodded her head and led the way to a dressing room. There she measured Severus and recorded it on a tablet. After that was done she asked him if he had an aversion to color. Tom was expecting him to say yes, however though Severus said. "Are you mad? Of course not. I love tropical colors the best and melon colors and pink. I love pink with a passion. I guess I love all colors now that I think of it." Then he tagged along behind them as they moved from rack to rack looking at all the clothes.

He watched Severus hold a corset up to himself and laugh with the lady, she nodded her head and it was added to the basket that Tom was carrying. Tom's head was swimming as a few thongs were tossed into the basket, and then a skirt and some leggings and some shirts and jeans....Merlin’s balls what was that? He pulled it back out and looked at it with a tilted head. Was it a shirt? Or a skirt? Or....he honestly didn't know what. He shrugged and added it back into the basket. Then shoes. How many types of shoes can one person have?

who says, who says  
You're not perfect (yaaa)  
Who says you're not worth it(yaya)  
Who says you're the only one hurting(who)  
Trust me thats the price of beauty (hey ya)

Then Severus was trying things on and parading around in front of Tom and the sales lady. Severus blushed as he saw Tom's mouth fall open. He did a three-sixty and tried to bend down. He then tried to walk in the heals. It would take practice but he felt like he was born to wear heels. Outfit after outfit, Severus looked good in everything of course he would need to shave, but that was a small hitch in such a herculean success. And by the look on Severus' face, Tom could tell he didn't care.

After they had bought the clothes. Severus took them to a Salon. Apparently Severus other plans for his unwanted body hair. Tom sat outside the door of the privet room and winced as Severus swore again. Waxing sounded painful. The door opened and Tom looked up to see the cosmetologist. The young woman said Severus wanted to change and was asking for the bags of clothes. He handed them over and sat patiently until he heard the door open. He looked up at Severus and smiled. He was wearing black, pinstriped pants with pink and orange stripes. He had a hot pink halter top on and a black, silky jacket on over it, with a thick black belt that had a pink butterfly buckle. Then to finish it off he had hot pink flats on. Tom's head tilted and he took in the boy's appearance, a small smile gracing his face. He could get use to this. He followed Severus and the woman over to a chair and sink, where she shampooed and conditioned his hair. Then she lead them to another chair where she cut, blow dried, and styled his hair. Then she was doing....make up? When she was done, she spun Severus around to look at himself and he smiled at his appearance.

Who says you're not pretty(hmm)  
Who says you're not beautiful  
(who said, im just beautiful me)  
Who says

They went back home and now they were sitting together on the love seat in Tom's privet sitting room. Peace and love and pure beauty were resonating off of Severus. He could feel it through their connection. He however could not read Severus' thoughts. Severus was blocking him for some reason...though it was a good reason, Tom was sure. Severus must just be trying to figure out how to tell him. 

who says you're not perfect  
Who says you're not worth it  
who says that you're the only one thats hurting  
Trust me thats the price of beauty

Finally when Tom could wait no more he asked, "What changed within you in such a short time, little one?" 

Severus looked up at him, gazing into his eyes. "You changed me, My Lord."  
Tom wrinkled his brow, he was confused. Did his earlier words really impact the boy that much?  
Severus sensed his confusion, and so to put his mind to rest he climbed on to Tom's lap and wrapped his arms around Tom's neck.  
"It wasn't something you said. It was something I saw that concerned us." Severus explained. Tom arched his eye brow. "What did you see?"

Severus raised his hand and cupped Tom's cheek. "I saw us...many years from now and I saw happiness and children and grandchildren. We have a son and other children, but he's our oldest. And he falls in love and has children of his own and he's happy and their happy and you're happy and I'm happy. I saw my worth. It wasn't a simple dream. It was way too clear to be a dream. I can show you, if you'd like?" 

Tom was speechless so he just nodded his head. He sought Severus' mind and felt Severus' barriers lower and then he was looking at a sunset and children were running around. Adults were laughing. The young man was blowing a kiss. Then Severus was in his arms and they were looking out over the horizon together. 

He broke the mental link, panting as he processed the vision. He looked at Severus and smiled before he said, "The fates gave you a prophecy of what's to come because you have a much bigger part in history than you believe. And they cannot have a key person in fate thinking he is worthless. I love you, little one."

Tom pressed their lips together and drank in the essence of Severus. They spent the rest of the day kissing and pleasing each other, though not making love. For that had to wait until Severus was officially his consort. 

But hell with a future like that...what was three years anyway?

 

Who says you're not pretty  
(who says you're not beautiful)  
Who says you're not beautiful  
Who says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I loved this chapter, mostly because it's a great big metaphor for my life and what I suffered as a child. This song has brought much needed closure to me personally. And I wanted Severus to feel the same. Though it wasn't another person that made me realize that all the stuff my aunt said to me was a lie. I was stupid and made a mistake that almost cost me my life, and when I realized I made it out of desperation to feel worthwhile, I realized I had to change my opinion of myself. And it hasn't been easy, and I still have A LOT of work to do, just like Severus does. But realizing is always the first step to recovery. Tell me what you think.


	6. Fifth Year:September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gibberish is my own invention!! <3 all i own nothing else!

Chapter 5: Fifth year September

Before Going back

He stood at the apparation point with his friends...waiting for the adults to apparate them to Kings Cross. However, Severus had eyes only for the man in front of him. He was standing with his hands in his back pockets, gazing silently up into his Lord's eyes. They were silent, gazing at each other with looks of sadness and loneliness. The others had stopped talking long ago, and were now watching intently at the couple. Severus thought over the goodbye they had given each other last night, and felt his stomach drop. He bit his lip in memory.

Flash Back

Severus couldn't sleep as he stared up at the ceiling. He was leaving tomorrow for Hogwarts. Then they would only see each other on weekends until Christmas break. He felt his heart give a pull, and he couldn't breathe at the thought of being away from the man for even a second. Making up his mind, he rolled out of bed and made his way across the corridor to where the double oak doors to Tom's chambers were. He tried to open them, but found they were locked. He glanced at the metal snakes that made up each handle, and hissed to them in Parseltounge."Let me in." The snakes perked their heads up and quietly hissed back. "He is sleeping." Severus furrowed his brow then said. "I don't care. I want to see him, now." The snakes then relented. "Only for you, Dark Prince." 

The snakes were allowed to grant entrance to those they deemed worthy, even if the room was warded. He made his way across the sitting room and opened the door to the master suite, quietly. His adjusted eyes could see that Tom was lying on the left side of the bed, on his left side. Severus slowly climbed onto the bed and over to the sleeping man. He pressed his forehead to the man's back and wrapped his arm around the man's waist. He had wanted to spend time with the man, because even though they were supposed to spend the morning together, it just didn't seem like enough time. He gently rubbed his forehead across the man's back, while he grazed his fingers across Tom's abdomen. Getting tired of not getting a response, he then whispered out, "My Lord, please wake up." However, when this didn't work, Severus braved something else. "Husband? Can you wake up for me? Please?" Husband...Severus already considered them to be married as did many others, even though it wasn't yet official according to The Ancient Laws.

This got the desired response out of man. Tom sighed and groaned as he woke up. He could feel the arm around him and gently took it in his hand and squeezed it while he woke up a bit more. Once satisfied that he could actually focus and function, he turned in Severus' arm and gazed down at the boy. "Hello little one. Is everything all right?" Severus was about to nod his head yes, but instead decided to be honest. "No. I can't sleep, and I...." He broke off unable to say what he needed to say.  
Tom lifted a hand Severus' cheek and peered into his eyes. "You could not wait until tomorrow morning to see me?" Severus knew he was teasing him, but beneath that was something else, love.

Severus gulped then in a choked voice said, "I...had to see you. The thought of not being able to really see you...of not being able to be with you...for almost six months..." He couldn't continue as a tear slid down his cheek. Tom shook his head in amazement and wiped the tear away. "I don't know how I was blessed with someone who loves me as you do." Tom whispered out in a serene voice. Then before Severus knew what was happening, Tom's lips were on his own, demanding and commanding. Just as Severus' were begging, pleading, submitting. Tom lifted him onto his lap and sat with him against his headboard. Tom carded his hand through Severus' hair, while the other messaged the back of his neck.

End Flash Back

Severus took a step closer to the man and raised a shaking hand to Tom's shoulder than very slowly in Elfish he said, "Hayona, I- "Tom's eyes widened and he quickly laid a finger to Severus' lips. "Severus don't. We know how we feel about each other...you don't need to say it out loud. That is not important to me." 

Severus smiled then continued, "I love you, Hayona and only you, so don't worry that some other guys will still my heart from you, my heart will always be yours, and my soul has always belonged to you. I promise I will use my mirror and journal every night, and every weekend we'll try to see each other. I know I can get through this. But I just need to hear you say it back...before I go." 

Tom felt his throat tighten. How on earth had he chosen so well? How had he chosen this...miracle? He surely did not deserve him. He smiled wrapped his arms around Severus' waist and pulled him in closer to him. "Hayona, my little one...please don't ever doubt that I love you as much as you love me. We will get through the next six months together. You will be fine." Then he kissed him one last time. Severus reluctantly pulled away and walked over to the others. He gave Tom a small, heart breaking smile before he took Lucius' hand and it a crack of smoke they were gone.

\----------

First Week

Severus laid in his bed at Hogwarts and sobbed. He was alone, so horribly alone. He felt sick to his stomach. He reached for his mirror and whispered Tom's name. In a second, Tom came on. "Hello little one. Can't sleep?" They talked until Severus' eyes drifted shut and his breathing stilled. Tom quietly hung his mirror up and let the young man sleep. 

Severus went to classes as usual, the Slythrins stayed by his side for the most part. They were under orders to, to protect him from the Gryphindors bullying him. Of course his friends no longer did anything physical to him...but they were under orders to appear as normal as possible without actually hurting Severus. Severus would search for apologies in their eyes, but he never found one. A part of him thought now that they were back at school and no longer in Tom's presence that The Muroders were going to go back to their old ways. He was walking down the hallway with Regulus when James rammed into his shoulder as he walked past and said, "Watch where you're walking Snivilus." Severus turned away and looked ahead. He wanted to cry but wouldn't. He got a letter from James that Friday night saying that he was sorry and that he was just trying to appear normal, he after all didn't want to be discovered. Severus just tossed it. He was seeing Tom tomorrow. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning he was getting ready when his journal went off. He opened it with a smile on his face but felt it wither away. Something had come up and Tom wasn't going to be able to use a glammer to be able to come and see him at Hogsmead. Severus just shook his head and peeled off the clothes he had been trying on before he sank down in to his bed.

Lily looked around the front entrance, waiting for Severus. They were supposed to walk down together. She turned to her boyfriend, who just shrugged with a puzzled look on his face. She couldn't stand it anymore and she headed off to the Dungeons. James said bye to the others and ran to catch up with her. "Are you sure you've been apologizing like I said for you to?" James groaned then said, "Yes, but if he actually believes that I've been teasing him just to tease him, then a stupid apology don't mean shit does it?" He looked guilty and worried. They stopped in front of the portrait and Lilly said the password. Together they made their way up to the dormitory and pushed the door open. There he was in bed, his journal lying on the floor. She bent down and picked it up, her mind putting two and two together. It took James some time, but then he shook his head. "Sev? Are you awake?" She asked before she heard a sniffle. "Oh Sev...I'm sorry he couldn't make it. How about you and I go together and James can just hang out with the others? Or I could stay with you here?" She only heard another sniffle. She slowly crawled to lay beside him and James crawled to lay on his other side. He was silently weeping. They had stayed with him for two hours before he fell asleep. The next three years were not going to be easy.  
\-------

Second Week

He stayed in bed most of the weekend and when Monday came, he went through the motions sleepily. The next week was a little easier. Severus kept mostly to himself. He went to class, went to meals then went to his dorm and studied. He was on a kind of auto pilot. He ignored Lily's worried looks, even ignored the bullying. He just couldn't wait to crawl back into bed. The days began to blur together as he neared the coming weekend. He went to sleep early all week so he could wake up early that weekend morning and get ready. He showered, careful to shave and wash his body and hair, he brushed and flossed his teeth three times just to be safe. He had blow dried his hair and brushed it out twice, before he had pulled it half back with a black, butterfly clip. He had planned out his make-up look extensively, he knew exactly what look he wanted to portray. He planned on dressing first than doing his make-up. He had planned out his outfit carefully the night before. He had slid on black, skinny jeans and had paired it with a dark blue, casual tee-shirt, with a black zip-up hoodie on over it. His journal alerted him just as he had finished lacing up his blue converse. He grinned and sat with it at his bed, careful not to knock over the make-up he had scattered across it. He flipped it open to the page that was humming. He looked down excited and read the words in rushed happiness. 

'Hello Little One' He picked up his quill and responded eagerly. He felt so happy, he was going to see Tom...he had honestly felt nervous that the man wouldn't get to spend time with him again. He watched the words of the man's response began to fill the page and felt not only nervousness but sadness. 'I won't be able to make it again today. You know how these meetings are. I tried to schedule it for earlier this week but they did not know when they were available and kept me waiting. I only found out that they wanted to meet today this morning. I'm sorry to reschedule again, I was really looking forward to seeing you, and maybe you could spend the day with Regulas. I'm sure he would like that. Is this fine with you? I can reschedule with them...but I’ve been wanting to meet with them for some time. I'm afraid that if I reschedule with them, I'll miss out on an opportunity to further our cause. You understand don't you?'

Severus pressed his hand to his tightly knotted stomach set the journal down his bed. He felt a gentle prodding at his mind and he felt tears well up in his eyes. He had been right, he knew Tom was going to do this. Honestly though...it was something that Severus would need to get use to eventually. That didn't make it okay though, to be canceled on and blown off. He pressed his cheek to his knees and listened as the journal hummed another two times and felt the prodding on his mind increase slightly. He heard it go off again before he slowly and cautiously responded. 'That's fine. Have a nice meeting, I hope it goes well. Have a good day.' He didn't wait for a response before he snapped the journal closed and turned off the alert setting, officially silencing the man. He pushed it off his bed and on to the floor. He laced his fingers around his knees and looked at his bed, scattered with make-up, and got lost in his thoughts. Should he go to Hogsmead anyway or just sit in bed all weekend again. He shrugged before he grabbed his Gringots card and pocketed it. He quickly did the bare essentials of his everyday make up, abandoning his special look, and left the dormitories. 

He went to shop after shop and bought as many things as possible. Skirts, leggings, stockings, dress pants, shorts, high heels, ballet flats, leather, zip-up high heeled boots, fur lined bohemian boots, sandals, jackets, blazers, hoodies, a new winter coat, halter tops, tank tops, button up tops, tube tops, sweaters, sweater vests, leather vests, jean vests, hand bags, jeans, shorts, jean shorts, tunics, belts, jewelry, sun glasses, hair accessories bath products, and all new makeup. 

He didn't stop there though...he bought all new school robs, dress robes, notebooks, quills, inks, bookends, paper weights, a new gold plated cauldron, a new set of knifes, weights and metal and wooden stirring rods, beakers, and glass vials. 

Severus couldn't explain exactly why he was buying all of this...out of sadness and anger, maybe. There was also however the fact he just felt like getting revenge. He wanted Tom to see the bill and see just how much fun Severus had had without him. Though truthfully, shopping just wasn't the same without another person there. He held his breath as the person at the till rang up his last purchase of the day...this amazing pair of Dolce and Gabana sunglasses. He had went to Magical vs Muggle Fashion last, other whys know and MvsM, a new store in Hogsmead and had gotten this gorgeous pair of sunglasses. Pink with a blue floral pattern on top, he had gotten them to go with his amazing new hippyish bohemianism style. The person at the till got a quizzical look on her face then raised her eyes to meet Severus'. 

"The payment went through... but it was slightly over the limit set to the card. So the purchase had to be approved by a Mr. Riddle. This is a joint account card, yes?" 

Severus nodded his head, as a look of understanding crossed her face. "Pay back, eh?" He frowned and said, "Is it so obvious?" She laughed as she wrapped and bagged the sunglasses. "Yes, dear. Once you've worked in retail, specifically fashion retail, as long as I have, you begin to notice the lovers scorned and the broken hearted." She gave him the bag and smiled. "Try to smile through it, that's the best advice I can give you. After all, you can't have a rainbow without a bit of rain." 

He smiled back and took the bag. As he walked out of the store the realization of what had just happened struck him cold and then silly. 'Oh Merlin...I must have still had over four thousand galleons on my card...and now it's all gone, in the span of two hours?' The thought had struck him so silly he couldn't stop laughing. He sat down on a stone bench and laughed until his sides were in stitches and there were tears pouring down his face. 

He knew that Tom was to be alerted if he exceeded the limit on his card. Of course Tom had way more than five thousand galleons in his vault and that amount was raised even more when Severus' funds were added to the account. Five thousand was the limit that Tom had set on the card, to keep Severus' spending at least somewhat under control. So that meant that when the payment had trouble going through it immediately alerted Tom and he had approved them anyway...even after seeing how much money Severus had spent. 

Then before he knew what was happening...the silly tears pouring down his face turned into heart wrenching sobs. His perfect day out with his...husband in a sense...was again ruined. Would this keep happening...was he really of so little importance to the man that Tom couldn't even find time to spend with him? He felt a push, no longer a prod, against his mind and he ignored it as the sobs continued to fall from his chest. He heard his name, close to him and he looked around him. He didn't see anyone he knew but still heard the voice. It took his fog induced mind to realize it was coming from around his neck. The voice sounded worried, angry and sad all at once, and it was simply too much for Severus to deal with. With a groan to pulled the chain from around his neck, breaking the chain, and stuffed it into a bag full of clothes. He didn’t want to think about him right now...he wanted to go back to the dungeons and sleep for a million years.

He walked along the path his arms filled with bags. He passed his Gryphindor family members and saw them look him over out of the corner of his eyes. They no doubt saw that he was alone, saw how much shopping he had done, and saw his tear streaked face. He saw Lily look away with a frown on her face. She hated to see him in any pain... he knew that. He then noticed that the other Slytherins had noticed him and had slightly bowed their heads in silent acknowledgment. Of both that he was The Dark Lord's consort in training and that he had been abandoned yet again. Regulas came up and grabbed for the bags. Severus happily gave them over and followed the younger boy to the dungeons. He peeled off his clothes and crawled naked into bed. Even in his sleep, he didn't rest well, simply because he was maintaining his occulmency through it. It in it's self was not enough to completely stop his love from invading his mind, but at least it told Tom to stay away for a while.

Third Week

He had received a half dozen letters, he assumed by then that the older man had realized that Severus was ignoring him. He had placed both his journal and his mirror at the bottom of his trunk. He didn't really feel much like talking to him...he even tossed the letters into his trunk, unopened. He didn't want to read the words the man had written in them. He wanted to have fun...to go shopping with Lily, which he couldn't do because it would be too out of character, and he wanted to go to the parties that the Slytherins held on the weekends. He wanted to sneak out of bed and be a....kid. Being with Tom was too much, too fast. After the past two weeks Severus had decided that he didn't really want to see the man for a while, mostly because he had been promised that Tom would make time for him and Tom was breaking that promise. And it hurt too much to have his promises to him broken.

He was sitting at the table pulling a letter off an owls leg. He looked at the slanted scrawl and frowned and tucked it into his robes. He noticed Reg look at him with sad eyes. He shook his head in his way of saying don't ask. It was Wednesday morning, and with Saturday approaching quite fast, the letters were nonstop. Tom probably wanted to spend some time together, but to be honest the earlier weekend killed all desire to want to see him, at least for now. He would have to tell him that, that he didn't want to see him right now. It was something that Severus dreaded the thought of doing but he didn't want to get his hopes up every weekend only to have them trampled on. He walked through the corridors with Reg, Crab and Goyal and felt happy...ish. He busied himself with his friends and activities to keep his mind off his man. 

But late at night, when he couldn't sleep, he trembled as he stared off into the distance. It felt unnatural what he was doing now, avoiding his soul mate like this. He felt sick, wrong and in such pain. But as the night succumbed to the sun's rays his pain faded into a tolerable dull throb. The next morning, with his body in a strange limbo between horrendous pain and numbness, he pulled out his journal and wrote out that not only had he made plans for this Saturday but also for the next few Saturdays and that Tom didn't need to worry about needing to make time to spend with him. He could use the coming weekends for his meetings. He didn't wait to see the response but instead shut the journal and replaced it in his trunk. His pain had subsided completely now to numbness that went straight to his core. This was something he had to do. He had to be a kid before he could be who Tom wanted. 

Yes he would fulfill The Oath, but in time. There was a reason why it took three to four years of training. It wasn't the studying or training or learning his actual place that took so long. It was learning to balance who you were now and who you were destined to be. How would he get from one to the other? How would he go from being a boy to a man? A recruit to a consort? A young single childless man to a married man with a child? How would he go from Severus to the Dark Prince? These three to four years were meant to be years of learning one's place, not just ones status, but one's place in the universe. He slowly backed away from his trunk with wide, scared, hurt eyes. How could Tom do this to him? How could he have so easily guided and manipulated Severus into this 'tween place. This 'tween place where nothing was certain, yet everything was certain? He turned on his heal and fled from the room. He barley realized he was running, running to nowhere in particular, just running for his life.

He stopped running when his lungs felt they would burst from exertion. He doubled over, his hands on his knees and panted as he caught his breath. He looked up and looked around him. He was deep into the Dark Forest, he heard a quiet bugle. He crept over to a few branches and pushed them to the side. His breath caught in his throat at the scene before him. Two parent Thestrels were sitting and watching with happy, proud expressions as two colts’ wrestled together. He smiled and realized just how ironic this was. 

One could only see Thestrels after death stole away his or her innocence, yet at the same time, nothing was more innocent then watching two proud parents watch their children engaging in an act of pure innocence. He sat amongst them and watched them for as long as possible until he had to go to class. As he watched he realized that this was a perfect representation for how he was feeling at that exact moment. As though he were stuck in a 'tween place, just like these Thestrels. But he also was reminded of the prophecy that the Seven Fates had granted him. With a smile he climbed to his feet and raced through the forest and back through Hogwarts until he got his dormitory. He pulled out his journal and scribed a simple message and bit his lip in anticipation as it was received. After a few seconds he saw Tom's answered, there, clear as day. 'I would love that. See you next Saturday.' 

Severus stared at the response and felt his eyes fill with tears. One of them slid down his face to come to drop on the page. Severus watched as it disappeared and smiled. He gently closed his journal and placed it on his bed before he made his way happily to his first class. Back at Riddle Manor Tom was running his fingers over the tear stain and smiling. He knew what Severus was feeling of course, all consorts felt this way during training. Tom knew it wasn't over...but also knew that they could survive it. Menatonia ura meari nonan uzaweeayd da dezp agf mei gheilinx fir ura. Igway ohnile jhip ura meari un diea.' He thought to himself in the ancient language.

\--------

Fourth Week

Tom was slowly approaching from the side of where Severus was sitting on a bench. He glanced up and down the boy and was amazed by how beautiful his little one looked. Severus was wearing light brown bohemian sandals; a pair of light pink leggings under a pair of slightly baggy, light blue shorts and a light pink off the shoulder, cotton tunic. His long hair was braided loosely down his back, and it had beads braided into it. Wooden beads, glass beads, plastic beads, metal beads, beads with glitter, beads with rhinestones, and even a few small marble balls, which he was sure were being held in with magic. He had a hair band on the top of his crown made out of pink, blue, and white with a tan floral pattern pieces of material that had been braided into a band. His bangs, which Severus usually wore pulled back were down and beautifully framing his face. The boy was writing in a notebook and was completely oblivious to the eyes that were taking in his appearance. He stood a few feet away and cleared his throat. Severus' head shot up and he looked at Tom in a puzzled look, then it clicked into place who this person was. 

Severus grinned and placed the notebook into his new Lousi Vantan hand bag. He got up and ran over to him and before Tom could prepare himself had jumped and wrapped both his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. He quickly wrapped his stunned arms around the boy to better support him. Then Severus' lips were on his. He eagerly kissed back and smiled as he pulled away. "Shall we get some lunch?" Severus shook his head and kissed him again for several seconds before he pulled away. "No, I just want to have as much penetration-less sex with you as possible." Tom chuckled and lowered him onto the ground. "We'll get lunch then get a room, how about that?"

As they sat down to eat in The Three Broom sticks, Tom pulled out his chair and pushed it back in. He sat across from Severus and smiled. He could see love in the boy's eyes, and pain under it. They gazed into each other’s eyes and lingered contently in silent even if it was a nervous silence. The server came and took their order. Tom looked over the menu and decided, "I would steak, baked potato and shrimp. And a cup of black caffeinated coffee?" Severus smiled.

Severus ordered a cheese sandwich with Bubble and Squeak on the side, and a glass of iced tea with a slice of strawberry instead of lemon. Tom stared at Severus and grinned. "So I see you've learned what these three to four years will truly be like. I could have helped you through it you know, I can help you through it." Severus ran is finger over the rim of his iced tea as he spoke. "I know. I know you can help me and be by my side, but in actuality isn't it me that has to work through it...or else it defeats the purpose?" 

Tom leaned forward and took Severus' hand. "That's true but instead of being the bad guy, I can support you during this time in your life...counsel you...guide you. When you push me away and think me the bad guy, I can't do that. You know I won't be able to see you all the time, yet you accuse me of not wanting to be with you completely, when you know that's not true." 

Severus gazed at him as he said, "I want you by my side and I know I can work this out as long as you’re by my side. So please try to be my side...as much as possible, and we won't have a problem again." Severus leaned across the table and gave him a deep kiss. A minute later Tom broke the kiss and summoned their server. "We would like to get a room. Could you have the food set up to our room?" The server nodded and responded, "Yes sir, we'll have one of the house elves pop it up. Would you like her to come with it, or would you like it to just appear?" Tom thought then said. 

"Appear." The server nodded his head, "Very good sir, I'll just check out a room for you." The man disappeared and came back with a key. "Room eleven sir. Your food should appear in fifth-teen minuets time. Have a good afternoon." They nodded and walked up the stairs in the back and quickly found their room.

Severus rested against Tom's chest and sighed in delight. His whole body tingled and he felt delicious. He felt Tom drop a kiss to the top of his head and was awarded with him saying in Parseltounge, "I love you Shash'hee'ay. Was that enjoyable? To you feel better about things between us now?" Severus nodded his head sleepily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song to Before Going Back: I Promise You (With Everything I Am) by the Back Street Boys  
> Song to First Week: Need You Now by Lady Antelbellum  
> Song to Second Week: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City Song to  
> Third Week: Gomenasai by t.A.T.U  
> Song to Fourth Week: Selfish by 'N Sync
> 
> Languages:  
> 1 Shash'hee'ay: My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to in Parseltounge
> 
> 2 Hayona(Hay*own*a): My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to in Elfish
> 
> 3 Menatonia(Men*a*tone*ee*a): My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to in the Ancient language of The Fates, or other whys know as, The Ancient Language (severus will never hear tom refer to him in this particular language, until MUCH later)
> 
> translation from the ancient language to English: 'Menatonia ura meari nonan uzaweeayd da dezp agf mei fir ura. Igway ohnile jhip ura meari un diea.' : My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to, you will never turly understand the death of my feelings for you. I only hope you will one day.  
> I will put translations in the bottom of every chapter from here on out, just to serve as a reminder.


	7. Fifth Year: October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha! if a chapter could be my pride and joy...this would be it! I didn't imagine it this bad and intense, but this is what came out of my head as I was typing and I simply love it. It's better than I imagined! This is it, this is the scene where everything between them changes for forever. ha! I hope you all enjoy it!! this chapter took me almost two weeks to type. Inspiration you understand...the scene was in my head but giving it voice and structure and flow was soooo complicated! I must have edited it and re-edited it and revised and re-revised a million times until I was struck with inspiration...multiple times!! I hope you all love it!!

Chapter 6) Fifth Year- October

First Week

And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me some how  
You're the closest to heaven that'll I ever be

At first Severus felt satisfied, happy even...however, the joy he felt gave way to a new feeling. Need...not want but need. He felt as if he needed the man beside him every night and it killed him to be away from him. Yes, things were good when they got together on Saturday but by the time it was Tuesday, he needed the man by his side. He needed his arms around him and he needed his mouth on his. He couldn't understand how he could feel such a burning in his soul...the sadness of last week had been replaced with an inferno that consumed him...every minute of the night and day. It wasn't just sexual need, but emotional need as if the man were the only thing keeping him going...like an I.V. Drip...or life support. Tom was his hunger, his thirst, the very air he breathed. He would rather gouge his own eyes out then have to be alone without the man. He handled himself well to untrained eyes, but those who knew him and those who knew the signs knew what was happening. 

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Water didn't quench his thirst, food didn't satisfy his hunger, sleep gave him no rest, cold water didn't sooth the raging fire that was skin, scratching his body made his nerve endings flair even worse, breathing didn't stop the tremble and shutter in his body, crying gave no way to exhaustion, pain relievers did nothing to stop the pain he felt all over his body, sleeping potions had no baring. He stilled himself on the floor of the shower, trying to breathe through the shaking...unbearable shaking, everything from his head to his toes. He leaned his head onto his knees...questioning. What was wrong with him? He had asked his friends and they only said that he would soon realize, or to ask Tom. It was something that people did not speak about unless necessary....it was driving him out of his head. What was wrong with him? He had postponed asking Tom about it as long as possible, not wanting to appear to be weak. He stood, finished showering and got into his night clothes.

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think they'd understand  
When everythings made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

He sat with his mirror in his hand, explaining to the older man what he was going through. Tom just listened silently, then began to explain."You've matured enough to bare children. When magical men, without creature blood such as Veela or vampire blood, turn twelve or thirteen they have matured enough to father children, but then later...as soon as one year later or as late as four years later...magical men mature enough to bare children. You're experiencing...well I guess you could call it heat. Not only do you need physical intimacy, but emotional, mental, and spiritual as well. It's worse for half-bloods or less, and it's even worse still when you've been in the presence of your soul mate. I'm sorry Severus, but it seems you are experiencing it at its worst form. But I cannot do anything about it until Saturday...so you're going to have to suffer through it."

Severus was confused. He knew men could bear children, but he had never thought to ask how. "Suffer through it? How can you say that? I feel like I'm going crazy and all you can say is 'suffer through it'?!?" He practically screamed out. He didn't want to suffer through it, he wanted his man. ::Pishtok! Igway dinou heena utahig tuie isheenip! Igway heena urahid pinishig! Boreh nie! Ura dinou heena meai!:: 

Tom's nostrils flared angrily. "Enough! Stop actually like a damn child! I know this is hard on you, but that is going too far! We can work around the distance between us, there are things we can do to help ease your discomfort! I was going to explain that before you went off on your tantrum!" Severus stilled, feeling like a child. He was just so damn angry. Everything was pissing him off. He stilled his breathing and asked in a shaking voice, "What can we do?" Tom smirked then said, "Put the curtain around your bed and put up a silencing charm...you might get a bit loud. And for the love of Merlin take off your clothes. You're hot enough already, clothes just make it worse."

And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin  
Or the moment of trueth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yea you bleed just to know your alive

It was true he did feel a bit better. He gazed sadly into the mirror before he whispered, "I need you, My Lord. I can barely stand it." Tom nodded, "Yes I know but you're going to have to stick with masturbating, resting, sleeping...even meditating until I can see to your needs myself."

Severus stayed out of classes for the rest of the week, he instead rested in his bed. He spent his time sleeping for the most part. Masturbating provided temporary comfort, but for the most part...meditating helped to keep his mind and body at ease. He sat in the center of his bed, curtains drawn and silencing spell up. He was bare accept a pair of baggy, breathable capris. He had slit his wrists and was reciting the meditation words of the ancient language. :: Jhei meai, seaii meai, qtuk meai, phieli meai. Ancant uns, drunt meai ueeizdum, drunt meai aztengt, drunt meai curanuty, ritz disin xirds, Igway beag ura.:: The blood flowed easily from him, cascaded around him, through him. He reveled in the feeling, got lost in it. It was easier to feel this...than insatiable lust. He sighed and breathed deep, he recited the words time and time again. His heart was hammering from lose of blood...but Severus got lost in it...thud thud thud. He could hear it in his ears, feel his pulse in his fingertips. He tapped easily into his core and drew further strength from it. The purpose of his meditating was to teach him discipline, he had more strength than he realized. When his head started to swim, he slowly called the blood back to his body and sealed the wounds.

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think they'd understand  
When everythings made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

\----------

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me  
I still feel your touch in my dreams  
Forgive me my weakness  
But I don't know why  
Without you it's hard to survive

Saturday could not come any sooner. He wasn't for once concerned with his appearance. He slipped on baggy jeans and tee-shirt, pulled his hair back into a lose bun and slipped on a pair of converse. He all but practically ran to Hogsmead. He slid into the square and looked around for Tom's alias. He saw him and Tom smiled. Severus ran to him and jumped up onto his waist. He put his lips to Tom's and gasped when they shocked each other. Severus was already unrelenting...he wanted to kiss deeper and deeper and his nails were clawing at Tom's neck. He broke the kiss and gazed into Tom's eyes. Tom chuckled and set him down. He took his hand and lead him to the Three Broomsticks.

 

Cuz everytime we touch  
I get this feeling  
Everytime we kiss  
I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast  
I want this to last  
Need you by my side

They got a room and Severus stood with his back resting on it. His heart was thudding nervously...nothing until now mattered. Sexual encounters before this had no real barring. He needed the man in more ways than he thought possible, and he felt as though there were a string that connected the two of them. Tom sat on the edge of the bed and gazed back at the younger man. He knew how Severus was feeling...this unbearable push and pull, this list fullness, this need to be closer than close enough. He had never felt this way about anything else before, at any time in his life. He had had doubts that he even had a soul mate...that it was even Severus...but it couldn't be clearer. He felt the pieces of his soul, hidden away, safe and sound, squirm in recognition. Even his fragmented, shattered, damaged soul had a soul mate. Each piece marveled and shuttered in the presence of the young man's soul. 

Severus glided across the room until he was standing in front of the man, he lifted his hands onto the man's shoulders and stared into the depths of his mind and soul, to his core. He could see Tom, in every bare essence of himself, and their minds weren't even linked. Tom rose his hands onto Severus' hips and they slowly brought their lips together and they were soaring, across the End of No Where. Their End of No Where. A shared mindscape and core experience... that rocked them to their cores. They barely noticed what their physical bodies were doing...their souls were consuming all of their attention. Bare, naked, all defenses down, they could peer endlessly into each other. Their bodies, hearts, minds, spirits, souls and cores were completely exposed to the other...and what they found in each other was beautiful. 

Cuz everytime we touch  
I feel the static  
And everytime kiss  
I reach for the sky  
Can't you hear my heart beat slow  
I can't let you go  
Want you in my life

Even Tom was not complete Evil. He has a side to himself that only he had ever known. A lonely child growing up in a world that didn't understand him, the hurt of being an orphan, the fear and hate that other's had unjustly shown him, until he could take no more and gave them a reason to fear and hate him. A young man who wanted nothing more than to fit in, who wanted nothing more than to feel worthy, the anger and self-disgust he felt for being half-blood. The anger, then later fear, when he had taken his first life, the fear of when he realized he could do terrible things...things that could shape the world to how he wanted it to be. The pride when he discovered his ancestry, the love he felt as he gazed up at the beautiful basilisic staring down at him from above. He had a worth...even if it was a dark worth. The awe and pride he had felt when McGema and Gaiel had come to him in the Chamber of Secrets and told him that he was prophesized to be the next Dark Lord. The determination he had felt as he learned and built himself up...and gathered his followers. The pain that every time he made love to Albert, he felt no push and pull. As much as he loved Albert...the other boy was not his soul mate. He had felt confused...how could he feel that much love for the boy without him being Tom's soul mate? Regardless, Albert had gone through the training anyway. The pain when they both realized that Albert had a soul mate, and that it wasn't Tom. The dreams he would have that made him tremble, prophecies of a boy with black hair and stunning eyes, who was this boy, why was he important? The anxiety he felt at every new recruitment as he searched for the boy...then disappointment when he was not there. The decision that he had just been dreaming and the pain he felt because he was truly and intimately alone. Until a boy with black hair and stunning eyes was recruited, he felt hope. Was this him? Yes...it was...it was Severus. 

Your arms are my castle  
Your heart is my sky  
They wipe away tears that I cry  
The good and the bad times  
We've been through them all  
You make me rise when I fall

Tom broke away, breaking their link, and sputtered a cough... he looked down into the stunning eyes of Severus and gulped. "Shhh, Shash'hee'ay. I know...I know." Severus ran his fingers down Tom's torso and licked his lips. Tom bent down and pressed a kiss to his lips. He sat up and placed Severus on his lap. He kissed the boys mouth and drank in his essence. Slowly he reestablished their link and saw as much of Severus as Severus had seen of him. Their bodies moved on autopilot, seeking pleasure, even pain from the other. Their bodies rocked together, careful to not violate the ancient laws. Severus's back was arching and he was holding Tom even tighter, he felt a slow tidal wave crash through him and make his body tense then turn into a puddle of lose muscles. Severus stared at the dilated eyes that were lovingly gazing down at him from above him, he felt the hands that cupped his face, and felt the tongue that pushed into his mouth. He raised one of his hands and set it on the tight swell of Tom's ass and lovingly caressed it. "Come for me husband? Please?" Tom growled in the back of his throat as his climax hit him in one hard impact.

Cuz everytime we touch  
I get this feeling  
Everytime we kiss  
I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heat beat fast  
I want this to last  
Need you by my side

Severus laid on his back and stared at the ceiling above him, Tom was laying on his side, his head propped up by a hand, and was lightly running his fingers through Severus' sweat matted locks. He looked at Severus' chest rise and fall as he breathed deep. "Do you feel better Little One?" Severus looked at him and smiled breathlessly. 

"Yes My Lord, I believe I do."

Second Week-Wensday

I'll bet two years, I'll bet one year  
I'll bet those years, you won't be here  
I guess I'll keep, I guess you'll keep  
Every memory, sadly we may never be  
I'll bet my tears, I'll bet your tears  
I'll bet those tears  
Over time could disappear

Severus scoffed as he ran his hands irritably through his hair. "What the hell do you mean that you can't see me on Saturday?" Tom bit his cheek and shook his head. "I simply can't see you. You've been so clingly these past few days. You've kept me up all night talking and masturbating…and because of that I have been too tired to do any work in the day time...so I instead sleep or rest. I'm not young like you anymore Severus, I need sleep. Better yet I need to get my work done. So this weekend I am concentrating on getting my work done and back on schedule." 

 

Wait a minute, I have more to say  
And I care if you're listening to me  
I need you more than you'll ever know  
I still do, willing to let it show  
I need a minute just to get to you  
I feel like I might be getting through  
Come over and say nothing  
Silence is everything

Severus rolled his eyes. " Ohhh...okay. I didn't know I was such a nuisance for you. How about instead of getting my needs from you, I go to someone else and have them give me what I need?" 

Tom's jaw dropped. "You did not just threaten me with adultery?! I tell you I need to work and you throw an attitude? I have a news flash for you Severus, you are not a child anymore. You can't make threats and expect to get what you want. It's time you grew up!" 

Severus gripped the mirror angrily, "First of all, you were the one that told me to come to you...that you'd help me through this. Second, you say that I keep you up all night with masturbating...if you had such a problem with mutually masturbating with me... you should have told me. And third, where the hell do you get off telling me to grow up. That's what I've been doing. And I've been doing it for you...excuse me if I want to treated like a child, and be pampered once in a while. This is not easy for me! I don't want to grow up this fast! I want to fuck and party...and stay up all night. I don't want to be some stuffy old person, in some stuffy old relationship! I want to be a teenager...not a fucking house wife!"

I know feelings can show  
If you let go, it must be told  
I've got a hold  
On what we use to have  
I will forgive, if you forget  
All the things we said  
Let's accept it  
I need you more than you'll ever know  
I still do, willing to let it show 

Tom stared back at him, with both anger and pain swimming beneath the surface of his eyes. Then the man shook his head and the mirror cut off. Severus growled in anger. He threw the mirror against the wall and watched as it bounced on to the floor, unharmed. Severus leapt off the bed and picked up the mirror again. He threw it again at the wall before he stomped on it. 'How dare he hang up on me! That bastard!' Severus conjured a hammer and began to slam it down onto the invincible mirror. He needed to break something, anything. He watched as the mirror stayed unharmed. He growled and threw at the wall again, and out of sight. He threw open his trunk and pulled out his new glass sets of beakers, cylinders, and vials. He cackled as he mashed them on to the ground. He picked one up and threw it at the wall of the empty dormitory. When those ran out he pulled out his new, unused cauldron and casted bombarda at it and watched as it blew into pieces. It wasn't enough...he was so angry at being rejected and being called a child. Could Tom not see the sacrifices Severus was trying to make for him? He pulled out his new quills and snapped them as many times as possible, until they splintered and pierced the flesh of his fingers. Not enough...not nearly enough. He pulled out his journal and smeared his bloodied fingers across the pages, defacing their most cherished journal conversations. It was still not enough. He summoned his blood scythe and held it over a page. He sobbed out as he drew a long cut across the journal entry. He watched as half of the page and three more under it fell away. Then a scream pierced the room, not his...the journal’s. The words on the pages slowly faded away, only the blood on the pages remained. Their most cherished conversations...destroyed. Like pieces of Severus' heart. He slowly placed his hand on the pages and cried. He fell from his knees on to the floor and cradled the book to his chest. He was a child...Tom was right...but no matter how hard Severus tried...no matter how much he wanted...he could not be something that he wasn't...something that he wasn't ready to be.

I need a minute just to get to you  
I feel like I might be getting through  
Come over and say nothing  
Silence is everything

Second Week- Friday

Mirror Mirror lie to me  
Show me what I want to see  
Mirror mirror lie to me  
Why don't I like the girl I see  
The one who is standing right in front of me  
Why don't I think before I speak  
I should have listened to  
That voice inside of me

I must be stupid  
Must be crazy  
Must be out of my mind  
To say the kind of things I said last night

Severus stared at the mirror and silently prayed for the man to call him. Severus had been checking for the past two days in the journal, and had been distracted in his classes because he was listening more for his mirror than he was listening to his teachers. He felt a tear run down his cheek. He felt like a damn fool…and immature, like the child he was. He felt so stupid...he had to be out of his mind. He just wished the mirror would lie to him and show him who he wanted to see. But it wouldn't, Tom was angry. He had every reason to be. 

Mirror mirror hangin on the wall  
You don't have to tell me  
'Who's the biggest fool of all  
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me  
And bring my baby back to me

Severus was trying, he honestly was. He tried to be more mature, tried to be the man that Tom wanted him to be. He felt so torn. He wanted Tom, but he wanted to be a kid. But he couldn't have one while he had the other. Tom and childhood were two very different things. He leaned his chin on his knees and stared at his own reflection, he hated who he saw staring back at him. A child who had made a very big mistake in immaturity. He wanted to see his man's face, his smile. He closed his eyes and silently cried. He sniffled just as he heard his name being called. He looked up and at the mirror and the face in it. He wiped his face and blinked at the man. Neither of them talked...it wasn't necessary. Severus laid down on his side and looked at the mirror. Severus opened his mouth to apologize when Tom cut him off. 

"I know Severus. But it doesn't excuse what you said. I've been thinking these past two days that I have gotten too lax with you. If you had said three months ago what you had the other night, I would have killed you...consort or not. So I'm thinking we need to rectify this. I don't want you speaking out of turn again, or speaking to me as though I were your equal. Because I am not...I am first and foremost your Lord and Master, then I am your husband. If you pull again what you pulled the other night you will regret it. And I cannot let the other night go unpunished. Nor the past week, what with you ignoring me. Meet me in the Chamber of Secrets in ten minutes."

Why did I let you walk away  
When all I had to do was say I'm sorry  
I let my pride get in the way  
And in the heat of the moment I was to blame  
I must be stupid must be crazy must be out of my mind  
Now in the cold light of the day I realize

Mirror mirror hangin on the wall  
You don't have to tell me  
'Who's the biggest fool of all  
Mirror Mirror I wish you could lie to me  
And bring my baby back to me

Severus stared at the man and realized what he was waiting for, "Yes, My Lord." He sat up and looked at the wall. 'Oh no. What have I done? He said he would have killed me three months ago...and that he has gotten soft with me.' He stared at the wall with dread in his stomach. Tom was going to torture him again like he had three months ago. He remembered how much that had scared him. And he wasn't even his consort yet, and now that he was...the thought of Tom hurting him intentionally, terrified him. Wasn't this against The Oath? Severus' stomach sank as he remembered the discipline clause. He gulped and walked to the chamber of secrets. He walked through it and stared at the man who was waiting for him. He was late...he knew he was. He had been lost in thought for quite some time. He should have been there in a minute but instead he was five minutes late, as though he weren't in enough trouble. He stopped ten feet away from the man, his arms crossed defensively over his chest and stomach. Tom's eyes were steely...cold...distant…murderous. 

Mirror mirror hangin on the wall  
You don't have to tell me  
'Who's the biggest fool of all  
Mirror I wish you could lie to me  
And bring my baby back to me

Tom gestured him closer with his finger and Severus slowly did as he was instructed and stepped a few feet closer. Tom sneered and gestured again. Severus stepped a few feet closer. Tom glowered then said in a mocking voice, "come now, 'little one', you don't want me to come over there to get you do you?" Severus gulped and shook his head as a tear slid down his face. He had said 'little one' in a voice of pure mockery. Never had Tom ever done that...it made Severus feel so unloved...so ugly.

"Oh you're going to cry? What makes you think I actually care if you cry or not? Get over here, now!" Severus squeaked and flinched. He felt himself shaking. He crossed the remaining feet between them and felt Tom's hand close over his throat in vice grip. "Good boy. Now be a good 'little one' and kneel." Severus lowered himself onto his knees, his eyes clenched shut. "Open your eyes. I want to see your big, pretty black eyes as I do this."

Mirror Mirror lie to me  
Show me what I want to see  
Mirror mirror lie to me

Tom bent down until their foreheads almost touched. "You will not enjoy this. Right now I am not your husband; I am your Lord and Master. Do not think sentimentality will hold me back." 

********

There's a possibility, there’s a possibility  
All I that I had was all I was gon' get  
Hmmmmmm  
There's a possibility, there’s a possibility  
All I gon' get is gon' be yours still  
All I gon' get is gon' be yours still

Severus felt himself thrown back on to the ground and closed his eyes in fear. He felt the curciotus hit him hard and he clenched his fists tightly to stop the pain. "No!! Do not hold back! I want to hear you scream and beg me to stop! Like when we're fucking and you scream and beg me to never stop!" Severus felt a harsh kick to his abdomen and cried out. He sobbed and curled his arms around his stomach. He felt a hand grip his hair and pull him back onto his feet. He whimpered and felt tears slide down his face. "Yes, that's it cry for me, 'little one'. Give me a reason to stop, to even care." He felt the fist connect with a few of his ribs and bit his lip. He was kicked onto the ground and felt the lash of a whip across his skin. He put his head back and imagined Tom beneath him, holding him as they made love. He was no longer screaming just crying.

So tell me when you hear my heart stop  
You're the only one who knows  
Tell me when you hear my silence  
There's a possibility I wouldn't know  
Hmmmmmmm  
Hmmmmmmm

He felt another wave of the cruciotus and screamed in pain again. He felt his muscles constrict and felt his limbs contort. He was vaguely aware of the vomit covering his face, hair and chest. He felt himself be involuntarily pulled his feet, being made to first dance...then beat himself. Then he felt in horror as he was made to defecate on the floor at his feet. He would have cried, closed his eyes, and looked away, if he had been in control of his own body.

Know that when you leave  
Know that when you leave  
By blood and by mean  
You walk like a theif  
By blood and by mean  
And I fall when you leave

***

Severus left his body being lowered onto the ground gently. He felt a hand smooth his hair. "Severus, little one, look at me. Can you look at me?" Severus stared up at the ceiling and felt his head loll back and his body tense… a seizer because he had magical cationic schizophrenia. He felt Tom lift his head into his lap and hold him. Severus opened his eyes when..in what could have been an hour. "Severus..." Tom whispered out. Severus was in so much pain, he thought he was going to black out again. He didn't cry or scream out though. He clenched his eyes shut. 'He's holding me? Why? Why not just kill me? I want to die rather have him hold me, like everything is fine.' Severus weakly put up his mental barriers. He didn't want this...monster...in his head. He barely felt the healing spells; it wasn't just his body that ached. He turned his head into Tom's lap and felt his head pound in pain. He winced and raised his hand to his temple. He felt blood and looked at his soaked hand. He felt sick to his stomach. "Shh, I know. I haven't gotten that far yet." Tom was healing him and cleaning him up, this made Severus feel sicker. His unofficial husband who had just tortured him, was nursing him back to health. 

He resigned to let Tom do it, but didn't look at him or speak to him. 

So tell me when you hear my heart stop  
You're the only one who knows  
Tell me when you hear my silence  
There's a possibility I wouldn't know

Tom stood up and held out his hand. Severus looked at it in confusion. He instead pulled himself onto his knees and bowed deeply. "I apologize, My Lord, for my behavior. It will never happen again. I promise you. May I go now, Master?" Tom frowned and touched the young man's head. He saw Severus flinch and inwardly winced. "Look at me first little one." Severus took a deep breath and schooled an impassive look onto his face. He looked up into the eyes of his monstrous and murderous husband. Severus' face and voice said one thing...but his eyes said another. Tom reached out to touch his face and Severus noticeably flinched and pulled away as he averted his eyes. "May I go now, Master?" Tom sighed and said, "Yes, little one, you may go." He watched with a heavy heart as Severus slowly limped out of the chamber. He thought back on the night and frowned. He had only wanted to talk with him. But seeing him had made him angry. And then it was all one big blur. He had only come back from where ever he was when he had heard Severus scream out to him in the Ancient Language. He had been disgusted with himself. 

'Oh Christ...what have I done? He's never going to trust me again.' He sighed and bowed his head in shame. As he readying to leave, he saw something glitter on the concrete floor. He bent down and examined it. The mirror, Severus' mirror. He vaguely remembered it being around the boy's neck when Severus had entered The Chamber. He plucked it off the ground and held it in his hand. He ran his finger over the cracked surface and frowned. If whatever he had done was enough to crack an invincible magical item...how had Severus survived. Then it dawned on him. Severus had been wearing his charm, with protective enchantments charmed onto it by Tom personally. The charm had saved his life. He closed his fist around the mirror and pressed his forehead to his closed fist. If Severus hadn't been wearing it....Tom would have killed him. The thought made his stomach churn and he felt stomach bile raise into the back of his throat. 

So tell me when my sighs over  
You're the reason why I'm closed  
Tell me when you hear me fallin  
There's a possibility it wouldn't show  
Hmmmmm  
Hmmmmm

He leaned against the wall and looked at the pile of bile on the ground. He tried to see past the haze in his mind...what had he done? He couldn't remember...he couldn't even remember hearing his screams until Severus had reached out for him both with the Ancient Language and his mind. His scream filled his mind now. ::Menatonia! Igway meari olqis luxea ura nie magyirt owv mugx ura hxrt meai!:: Tom closed his eyes...why couldn't he remember...he'd never blocked out a single torture session until now. Something in the back of his head was saying, 'I tortured my soul mate...that is only acceptable in the eyes of the Seven Fates if it's consensual. Discipline clause or no...this was unforgivable. The Fates must be making me not remember.' He punched the wall and resolved that he would make himself remember, how in hell was his baby boy ever going to forgive him. He was amazed when Severus didn't server the agreement right then and there. The words echoed in his mind, no matter how much Tom hurt him...Severus would continue to love him. Severus was truly a miracle that Tom did not deserve. He sighed and left the Chamber. 

By blood and by mean  
I'll fall when you leave  
By blood and by mean  
I follow your lead.  
Hmmmmm  
Hmmmmm  
Hmmmmm  
Hmmmmm

Third Week

Here by my side an angel  
Here by my side the devil  
Never turn your back on me  
Never turn your back on me again  
Here by my side it's heaven

Regulas woke up to someone shaking him. "Reg...You must come! It's the Prince. Something's wrong." Regulas jumped out of bed and ran to the dormitory and stopped in the door way. Severus was awake...if you could call it awake... and was shaking, sobbing. "Someone get me a cold rag." Once he had it, he slid into the bed behind him and pressed the cool rag to Severus' forehead. He eased him into the bed and sighed. He wanted to know what happened but he didn't doubt that it had something to do with their lord. 

Severus woke up and blinked his eyes. He felt some one behind him holding him. He reached his hand back and weakly touched the hand on his hip. Who was this person? "Shh, Sev. I'm right here. Would you like some water?" Severus barley nodded his head and when he did he winced and touched his head. "Careful, he worked you over good...though it seems like he healed you after wards. I am right, aren’t I?" Severus whimpered, clearly his way of saying he didn't want to talk about it. "How long have I been out?" Regulas bit his lip then said, "Three days...we didn't really know what to say to Slughorn...but he just assumed that you were still you know 'maturing'. He just kept saying, 'I hope the poor boy has found a way to handle it. Quite tricky it can be.' it was really quite funny." Severus gave him a thankful smile than realized, 

"So I only missed Monday then?" Reg frowned, flabbergasted. "Only? Sev...your body went through something traumatic, maybe you should take a few more days to rest." Severus picked at the bed spread and shrugged his shoulders. "I feel fine physically expect this dull pain in my stomach...so I don't see why I can't go back to classes."

"Severus, listen to yourself...your stomach hurts, maybe you should see the nurse." Severus' eyes widened and he backed up defensively. "Why in hell would I do that? He healed me already and besides she would be able to tell something happened and get Dumbledore involved."

"Well, look what he did to you! Merlin, maybe Dumbledore could get you out of the situation! Maybe he could protect you...insure nothing like this happened again!" Severus turned on him, with his wand drawn. "You are talking about defecting, deserting, and treason!" Regulas raised his hands to show that he meant no harm and Severus stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Why say that now Regulas? Are you a Dumbledore sympathizer, are you a phoenix? Because you know what basilisks do to puny, little birds. Don't not ever let me hear you say something like that again...or I will turn you in for possible defection, desertion and grand treason. Now leave."

\----------

Classes were like a blur, and nights were filled with terror for the Dark Prince. He went about his days in blurred motions...not quite focused, but focused enough to remember, focused enough to feel the pain that tore at his heart. He sat in the back of the classrooms with his head on his arms and listened to the teachers lecture. Notes held no interest for him, and his hands shook too much to do much of anything in potions. The only person who had any inkling of understanding was Reguals, who watched with beady, steely eyes; waiting for Severus to fall again. And each night when he fell, Regulas would hold him to stop his cries, and would speak words of treason. With the number of days growing, Severus felt he found Regulas' arms a welcoming comfort; even if the words he spoke angered the Dark Prince. Lily and the others knew nothing yet he could feel their gaze on him...worrying, questioning, and wondering. She asked out of fear and he told nothing. 

Severus awoke with a scream dyeing on his lips and sat shaking in his bed...the image of blood still burned into the back of his eyes. He rocked himself back and forth and tried to remember the counseling Tom made him undergo while the trial took place. But the things that offered relief for him then, did nothing for him now. It was not the same thing. His father had hated him, and was an alcoholic. That explained his abuse...but Tom's was entirely different. He did not do it because he hated Severus, but because Severus had forgotten who he was speaking too and had assumed too much about their relationship. It was becoming more and more apparent that the Dark Lord might not even love him at all. These thoughts broke Severus' heart even more, he loved Tom with every fiber in his body...and Tom was really only looking for someone to carry on his legacy. Severus' life would be easier if he did the things Regulas talked about...but he couldn't do it. He cared far too much about the man to turn his back on him. He searched his feelings discovered and that Tom could do almost anything and Severus would still love him with every piece of his heart. He laid back down, after he shooed every one away including Regulas. 

Here by my side  
You are destruction  
Here by my side a  
New color to paint the world

He shook his head and tried to focus on Professor Bins, but felt his eyes drift closed.

-Nightmare/Flashback-

Severus screamed and sheltered his stomach from the harsh kicking it was enduring. He tucked his chin against his chest and coiled even tighter into his ball. His vision was swimming and he had blood trickling into his left eye. He felt the monster above him reach down and grab a fist full of his hair. Severus grabbed at the hand, trying to get it to loosen its grip and felt a sickening punch to his torso, than a knee and he was thrown against the wall and the man was strangling him, and Severus was crying; staring into the unrecognizable eyes of his love. Tom put his mouth close to Severus' ear and whispered out, "Good boy...cry for me, let me see how much this hurts you..I want to hear you beg...beg and it'll be over. That's all you need to do." And Severus responded, even with Tom's hands wrapped tightly around his throat, "I'd rather have you kill me... I refuse to ever beg you for anything. The day I beg to you will be the day you have finally broken every part of me." Tom bared his teeth and growled out, "That can be arranged, 'little one'." Severus fixed him with a gaze and said coolly, despite the tears still running down his face, "Then what are you waiting for? Do it, you mother fucking murderer! End my life, if it means so little to you!" Tom tightened his grip, "Do not tempt me, you had better be careful of what you wish for...you might just get it." Their eyes bore into each other’s, Tom's saying that he would actually do it without thinking twice, Severus' telling him, almost begging him to just do it. Tom smirked then, "No, I will not kill you. I will not give you such an easy way out. I want you to suffer...and I can assure you that we will stay down here for as long as necessary until I hear your pretty mouth beg me to have mercy on you."

-End-

Severus screamed and sat up, he felt disoriented and didn't know where he was. He felt eyes on him and looked around to see the entire class, Slytherins and Gryphindors alike, staring at him with concerned expressions. Lily looked as though she were close to jumping up and coming to him, to ask what she could do to help. He reached down and tried to close his text book, but his hand shook too much. The girl sitting next to him, a Gryphindor, slowly closed it for him and recapped the ink well. He bent down to pick up his bag and found that he couldn't make his trembling hand grasp the strap. She looked at him with sympathy in her eyes and picked up his bag for him and placed his supplies in to it. She handed it to him and he was barely able to grip it. He stood and felt dizzy. He stood with his hand on his temple. He saw a Slythrin boy get up, his bag packed. The boy looked at the girl and bowed his head. "I've got it from here, thank you though." The boy was a seventh year that Severus knew was a Death Eater. He took Severus' arm and lead him out of the classroom and back to the dudgeons. He asked no questions...already sure what the cause was. His breathing was alone enough to help still Severus'. When they were to the Slytherin dormitories, Severus turned and looked at him. 

"You will say nothing to him. Do you understand me?" The boy bowed his head and spoke, "Of course, My Prince. I wouldn't dream of it, and besides..I don't have a death wish. No offense, My Prince, but you must have a death wish to even risk getting that close to him. I respect you for that...more for that than everything else... that you're willing to try...even though it'll most likely lead to your death. Are you fine now, My Prince?" Severus mutely nodded his head. The boy was right...somehow, Tom would be the death of Severus.

Never turn your back on it  
Never turn your back on it again  
Here by my side it's heaven

The next day when he was walking past Myrtle’s bathroom, someone reached out and grabbed him. He felt himself hit the wall and immeadiatly put his hands up to his face to protect it. Lily gasped at the immediate defensive posture and pressed a hand to her mouth. After awhile she whispered out, "Severus Tobias Snape I demand to know what happened! You WILL tell me, even if you don't want to. I have Virataserum and I am not afraid to use it!" He looked at her, and something happened. Something he had not done since that night. His shoulder's shook, then deflated as his entire body sagged on to the floor. He was shaking and he couldn't breathe. "Oh Christ Severus. What's happened?" She sank onto the floor and touched his shoulder to comfort him. And it was like a dam broke somewhere inside the boy. Tears were streaming down his face and his head pounded. She wrapped her arms around him and held him. "Talk to me please. Share whatever pain this is with me, I promise I can take it, if you'd just let me in and give it to me." He pulled away and shook his head through the tears. "No Lily...you can't take it. And it's not yours to you take."

She leveled him with a stare and spoke in a calm, soothing yet stern voice. "Now you listen to me Severus Snape, it is not up to you to decide what I can and cannot handle. And if you cannot share your pain with me, then who else can you share it with? So please, Sev...talk to me." He sighed in resignation and leaned his head back against the wall. Slowly he began his tale. She listened, and many emotions flashed across her face, but never once did she ever interrupt him. And when it was over, she held him to her chest. She had no words to offer, so she said nothing; but for once someone was giving him what he needed, and that was understanding silence, not empty, clueless words. Only Lily would be able to look through him to see what it truly was he needed, and as always she gave it unconditionally. She pulled out her handkerchief and wiped Severus' face. He let her and closed his eyes, what he didn't expect was the kiss she pressed to his lips. It beyond all else, this was not friendly, or sisterly, or even romantic. It was from one half to another. Though he was no longer in love with her, she would always feel like the other half of his soul...even if it wasn't in a romantic way. She pulled away and looked at him, still with no words to say... yet her kiss had said it all. She wasn't going to tell him that it was okay or that it'd be okay...it wasn't. Severus was in no way okay, so instead her kiss had said, 'I understand and though I know you hate him right now, I also know you will always love him. So maybe in time you will forgive him...but nobody would be surprised if you didn't.' and surprisingly, instead of her kiss also telling him to walk away, it had said, 'I know you can't walk away, so don't, instead take the time you need to forgive him, and know that I will be behind you and beside you every step of the way, supporting you in the times you need me to.'

Careful, you be careful  
Careful, you be careful  
This is where the worlds drops off  
This is where the worlds drops off  
Careful, you be careful

And though her words had soothed him, it only took a small fraction of the pain away. By Friday, his shaking was the same, if not worse and his nightmares had doubled as he gradually remembered all the moments he had suppressed. He had taken to putting up a silencing charm and had taken to sipping Firewhisky to help him fall asleep. Sleep potions did nothing...the only thing that drugged him enough to get him to succumb to sleep was Firewhisky. He had left his journal on the floor where it had fallen that night, he refused to touch it, he even walked around it. And his mirror was gone...lost somewhere in the Chamber. He was in so much pain, emotional and physical, he was almost numb. He showered that night before bed and crawled into the bed. He heard his journal alert him for the first time in a little over a week. What was he to do? If he ignored it, he would be in trouble again, yet he didn't know if he was ready to even touch it, let alone open it and read it and write in it. It alerted him again and he summoned it to him. 

He flicked his wrist and the journal flew open to the page. He peered at it and then he pulled out one of his handless quills. Lily had given it to him since writing was becoming hard for him to do. He held the quill above the page, and thought the response. He let go and watched as the quill replied for him. He looked at the words with an empty feeling. He wanted to meet up with Severus this Saturday, to spend some time his 'little one'. Though the man had meant the term of endearment in a sincere way, it was forever ruined for Severus, or at the very least it would never be the same. He responded, saying he'd meet the man at the Three Broomsticks and then they said good night to each other. I love you was glaring up at him from the page and he frowned. 'Sure you do.' Then he noticed with horror that the quill was writing it, thinking it was the desired response. He quickly snatched it up and drew heavy lines across it, hoping that the man hadn't seen it. After he blacked it out he responded as ditto. Not saying he loved him back but also not saying he hated him. Just ditto. Then he flicked his wrist and the journal was at its place on his floor again. He opened the flask on his bed side table and sipped the booz gratefully as he stared at his curtains. When he drained the flask, and when he felt flushed and his eyes felt heavily lidded, he set it back onto his bedside table and snuggled into his bed, careful not to jar his body too much. One wrong move would have his entire body shaking worse than it already was.

*******  
And you breath in and  
You breath out for it  
Ain't it so werid how it  
Makes you a weapon  
And you give in and  
You give out for it  
Ain't it so werid how it  
Makes you a weapon

He sat nervously at a table in the Three Broom sticks, and watched as Tom's alias walked in through the door. Severus gulped and knotted his fingers together as they rested on the table. He was wearing black, skinny jeans; a red tank top; a red and black checkered hoodie; a red, spiked belt; and a pair of red and black converse. He had pulled his hair up and was wearing only basic, school day make up. He had one of the ear buds of his Wizard Wireless in his right ear while the other was wrapped around the back of his neck and resting on his shoulder. He had been listening to some opera...about the only thing that he could listen to. Opera seemed to capture and embody all of his emotions, the good and the bad. Severus had barely been able to make his hands switch off the player and now he was waiting for the man to notice him. Tom scoped the pub and rested his eyes on Severus. Severus blinked before he looked away. He approached slowly, noticing the knotted mess Severus' fingers were in. Then he noticed why...Severus was shaking, visibly shaking. He untwisted his scarf from around his neck and pulled the chair out to sit across the boy. Severus could feel his eyes on him and tried to still his breathing and shaking. It was easier said than done, and Severus found that even being in the man's presence had made his condition worse. He didn't look up at the questioning eyes, but instead flicked his menu open and scanned the items. Though to be honest, he wasn't really able to focus with Tom's eyes boring holes into his head. Finally Tom got the hint that the last thing Severus wanted was to make eye contact with him.

And Tom didn't blame him, over the course of the week he had unblocked his memory and discovered everything about that night....in great detail. He had thrown up after he had remembered it all, then he had paced. Then after he did that he sought advice from McGema; who was more than furious with him. Then he had cried, and then he had spent the past few nights waking up, in a cold sweat, shaking himself. Tom heard Severus sigh in exasperation and looked up at him over his menu. Severus was no longer holding the menu, but had instead laid it flat on the table and was using magic to turn the pages. His eyes focused on the shake in Severus' hands, and he saw how Severus balled his hands in fists...or knotted his fingers together...or sat on his hands; anything to keep Tom from noticing that Severus' hands couldn't function. Or to be more accurate, that Severus couldn't function. Tom opened his mouth to ask if he was alright, and Severus flicked his eyes up to Tom's. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Master. It's just nerves is all, it should go away soon." Tom had never heard a more clearer of a dismissal, Severus did not want to talk about last week, but Tom decided they had to and summoned a server. They quickly ordered, and then he watched as Severus spilt his iced tea down his hoodie, because his hands were unable to grip the glass. He saw Severus' face flush with anger, then embarrassment, then finally resignation. Tom handed him a napkin and Severus took it, rather forcefully, from his hand. Severus mopped himself up, his hand shaking, and Tom reached out his hand to help. Severus scoffed angrily and knocked his hand away. "I can do it myself....Master." Once Severus was done, he summoned their server and asked for a straw. And now he was sipping his tea through a straw...as hands off as possible. 

"Severus...are you well? Did I not heal something correctly?" He asked cautiously. Severus looked up at him, his eyes narrowed into slits, "No Master, like I said...it's nerves. You don't need to worry. You healed all that needed healing." It was perfectly polite to those who did not know Severus, but to those who knew him intimately...it wasn't only a dismissal, but a 'fuck off' as well. Tom sighed and slumped in his seat. He slid his fingers along his glass and thought about what to say next. "Severus...I am worried. You do not seem well, and I am the cause for it. I know nerves are not the only reason for...this. And I want to help you." As soon as he said the words he could feel immense hate directed at him, but beneath that was tremendous emotional and physical pain that made his chest tighten. He chanced looking up at Severus and bit his lip at what he saw. The server brought their food and Severus pushed his plate to the side. 

Never turn your back on it  
Never turn your back on it again  
Careful, you be careful  
Careful, you be careful

"To be frank, Master, I don't want or need your help. You've done enough." Tom blinked his eyes as he realized what was really going on. "How much of it do you remem-" "A lot, not all I'm sure, but a hell of a lot....Master." Then he watched as Severus pushed his chair out from the table and pulled his feet up onto the chair, with his arms wrapped around his knees. 

"Severus...I'm sorry for what I did to you. But you have to trust that the monster that did what he did to you was not me, the man you love. It was something else, something more animalistic. I wanted to speak with you, maybe...and that's a MAYBE...teach you a small lesson, but something came over me and I lost control-"

"Yea, the half of you that is a sadistic monster took control...while the half of you that loves me...was hidden away." Tom hung his head in shame. "I'm so sorry little one." He saw Severus stiffen out of the corner of his eye at the nickname and immediately berated himself; of course Severus would hate his nickname for him now. 

Severus bit his lip at the surge of mixed emotions that struck in his chest. He sighed and ate a bit of his food, but found he was unable to steady his hand. He didn't want to do this in front of Tom...but it was getting out of hand. He reached down and shakily pulled out his flask. Tom's eyes focused on it as he watched Severus take a swig and soon the man realized that Severus was self-medicating. He frowned and at that frown Severus looked up at him with a frown of his own. In response he held out a hand, that was noticeably less shaken. "It's the only thing that helps...and it's the only thing that helps me to fall asleep. Bellatrix has been sending me Firewhisky behind your back. I just....can't seem to sleep at night anymore."

Tom shook his head. He was more than angry with himself. He did this, him, the love of Severus' life. He leaned his face into his palms and tried to steady his breathing. "There's something else. Regulas has been trying to convince me to go to Dumbledore-" Tom's head shot up and his jaw dropped. "He's been talking of defection, desertion, and treason. I'm worried he may already be working for Dumbledore. I've been letting him think he's getting close to me...so I can keep an eye on him. I'm worried that if we don't handle him...he'll go to Dumbledore...or he might already have gone to him."

"How the hell did he find out?" Tom bit out, and Severus sucked on his lip. "He guessed, as have all the other Slytherins. And Lily threatened me with Virataserum if I didn't tell her what...happened." Tom shook his head and then nodded it, "Thank you for the in tell on Regulas, we will apprehend him and see what he's been doing and what his motives are." He looked at Severus and Severus looked back at him, a silent reconciliation hung between them, at least about this. When it came to the incident however, Severus was still as hurt as ever, and Tom as guilty as ever. They finished their meal and they parted ways...he had reached for a hug or a kiss and Severus had pulled away and had given him a look that said, 'not yet, not now, maybe not ever'. And Tom let him walk away, with a heavy hand clenched around his heart.

Here by my side it's heaven  
Here by my side it's heaven  
Here by my side it's heaven

Fourth Week

Darlin I can't explain  
Where'd we lose our way  
It's driving me insane  
And I know I just need  
One more chance  
To prove my love to you

Tom flew up in bed, with a thick, cold sweat covering his body. His stomach felt sick....he could hear the screams dying in his mind. He looked down at his mirror around his neck, and Severus' that lay broken around his neck beside his own. He picked the mirror up and looked at it, and slid his finger along the crack in the mirror. He felt a tear slide down his face and remembered the look on Severus' face. He couldn't believe he had done this...yet he could. He was a monster who loved to inflict pain and he had caused Severus a tremendous amount of pain. He lay back down and looked at the ceiling and wondered what Severus was doing. Was he sleeping, was he cramming for a test, was he crying, drinking, and shaking, was he leaning on Lily, or distracting Regulas? Tom wished he could pick up his journal and ask him...but he had seen Severus' response before his little one had blacked it out. Out of everything else he had made Severus doubt his love for him. He had cried for Tom and Tom had only hurt him further, Severus never did beg him....instead he had said he loved him...still after that. He closed his eyes and remembered the smile on Severus' face that summer, how the boy had only looked at him with love, desire, need, want, and longing. Now Severus was scared of him and flinched when Tom reached for him, he even pulled away and wouldn't let Tom touch him, even if it was only as simple as a hug.

And if you come back to me  
I'll guarantee that I'll never let you go

Can we go back to the days  
Our love strong  
Can you tell me how  
A perfect love goes wrong  
Can somebody tell me  
How to get things back  
The way they use to be

He wanted Severus to smile again and to look at him with pure untainted devotion, but now he realized that Severus' devotion and love would always be tainted from this moment on. He would never fully trust, never fully believe, would never fully expect Tom's love... now Severus didn't trust him, didn't believe him, and now Severus expected Tom to hurt him...he expected to never really mean anything to the man. Tom felt his stomach drop further and he opened his eyes. He desperately wanted to make love to Severus, to hold him and to re-teach him just how important Severus was to him. But the incident made him realize something, being with Severus had made him soft and that knowledge had angered him, and in return he had taken all of pent up anger out on the boy. For his sanity and Severus' safety, he needed to remain the rufless monster with all but his family. He wanted their love, and he didn't want them to be afraid of him. He sighed as he realized that the three to four years were for him as well. How did he go from rufless, monstrous Dark Lord; to calm, caring, loving, and trusted family leader? How did he be this...thing that he never had to before now? Yes he had brothers and sisters...the first of his followers that had risen to power with him...but he never had this responsibility with them. To them he was their brother, and friend...but first and foremost their Lord and Master. They had never demanded him to be their brother and friend first, then their leader. That was how he had ran things...they knew they were loved, and he knew he was loved by them but never did they demand it to be shown. They were old fashioned...while his new family members were modern, with modern expectations. He shook his head...he would have to adapt to being modern as well. He would have to be family leader first, then Dark Lord. How was he to do that though? He understood how Severus felt and burrowed into his duvet. Not even Albert was this demanding. He would do anything to get things back to normal...he would beg Severus if he had to do. Then with a sad thought he realized he was begging and praying...to his god and The Seven Fates. He groaned and put his arm over his eyes. Never had anything or anyone made him seek out the guidance of The Dark Serpent God or The Seven Fates Of Destiny and Creation. "Shiba and Leliana curse me for this monstrosity that I have done!" He put his head into his hands and wept. He turned and pulled Severus' pillow to his face. He inhaled the scent as he focused on his breathing. 

Oh God give me a reason  
I'm down on bended knee  
I'll never walk again  
Until you come back to me  
I'm down on bended knee

Weeping?! He, Lord Voldemort, was weeping?! This angered him and he immediately thought himself weak, until he heard a voice in the back of his head, that was clearly not his own. 'Be still my child I, my wife and The Seven Fates have desired for this to happen. It is only through both love and pain that you both will reach the pinnacle of your potential and in essence the very pinnacle of your creation.' He saw a figure now, a great basilisk in his mind.

'By conquering love and pain, you will conquer the world. It is yours and your heirs' responsibility to return the world to glory...the ages of ancient. When magic was new, fresh and still innocent. Yours and Severus Snape's relationship will not be of rainbows and flowers...but instead it will be wrought from pain, suffering and endless love. You heard him that night...that is his destiny. To love you through heaven and hell. And your destiny is to deliver him to both places, no matter the pain it brings you to hurt him. You absolutely must make certain that your journey together is a painful one...if he never realizes his full potential, he will not survive the birth of your son...both out comes have been preordained...divine will can only do so much...the rest is up to the will of those created. You must prepare him for the pain and suffering...and the only way to do that is to make certain he can with stand it.'

Tom's head was swimming. 'What happens if it back fires? What happens if it breaks him? What do I do then?' He asked Shiba. Shiba shook his head. 'You misunderstand me. I said pain AND love. Do not make his existence hell, love him, be good to him and let him love you. But it has already been preordained that you will cause him great pain, you will know the preordained moments when you come across them, and you will do as destined, if you do not...he and your children will not be able to fulfill their destinies. So take heart here in these words, the two of you are destined for great things. Both pleasurable and painful. The destiny of magic lays in your hands and in your children's hands, do not run from your destiny...instead embrace it...for it is a wonderful destiny. It might seem as if your Shash'hee'ay has walked away from you...but no matter how much it seems like such, he will never turn his back on you. It is time that you began to teach him of love and the power it has, teach him that all is possible through love and that it is indeed the most powerful form of magic. Be strong, dear heart and remember my words.' 

So many nights I dream of you  
Holding my pillow tight and I know that  
I don't need to be alone, yea  
When I open up my eyes  
To face reality  
Every moment without you  
It seems like eternity  
I'm begging you  
Begging you to come back to me

Then the god was gone and Tom was reduced to shivering as he mulled over the words. 'Holy Shit!! Shiba, god of all serpents was just speaking to me.' He remembered his words and looked down at the cracked mirror and stared in complete awe...it was perfectly flawless, the way it used to be, there inscribed in the exact place the crack had been was 'Through love and pain may I conquer the world'. Tom felt his eyes fill with tears and he smiled. Through love, all things are possible and conquerable. He held Severus' pillow tighter and took comfort that this was not their end, to eternity and beyond. Their love would rival the most beautiful of romantic fairy tales. 

That night Severus was staring at the ceiling with tears in his eyes, over and over he replayed the prophecy in his head... they were destined for so much. He had once thought it was happiness, but as he remembered it now, the way they had gazed into each other’s eyes was not completely in happiness, instead their eyes were filled with guarded emotion...heavy emotion for them both. Pain was always going to be a part of their destiny…but could he survive it? He honestly didn't know. Was there a limit to the amount of pain he could endure from the man, and if there was...hadn't they already reached it, even gone past it? Or was what he said that night true? Could he truly with stand it all and remain so in love with the man? He did know one thing...he would certainly try. As for right now, he did need time to heal, and he hoped Tom could give it to him. Tonight booze did nothing, he was in such pain he was more numb than anything else. Nothing could stop the heart ache, heart ache never sleeps. He moaned in pain as his stomach twinged and he reached down and cradled his stomach with his shaking hands. He closed his eyes and imagined Tom in his bed, what was he doing? He could see him clearly in his mind...lying in bed, cradling Severus' pillow and this caused Severus to cry harder. Damn his sight to hell! ...He had talked with Frenz and Bain and was shocked to hear that he had a touch of the gift. He knew Tom loved him because he could see it. He could even see him crying, so he knew that the man was meant to be his man...but Severus needed time to heal and grow and to thrive without the man for a while. He wanted happiness...and he wanted to know why the fates were not granting it to him. He wished that he could discover his destiny...look into the eyes of the fates and see how all this pain made so much sense to them. He tucked his chin against his chest and let his memory take him to a time when he knew Tom loved him, to a time when Tom smiled at him and held him. Tonight instead of hiding from Tom, his worth, his destiny, and his own feelings...he let his memory to take him home to a time when he thrived off these things. 

Oh God give me a reason  
I'm down on bended knee  
I'll never walk again  
Until you come back to me  
I'm down on bended knee

*****  
Fourth Week- Saturday

Baby I'm sorry  
Please forgive me  
For all the wrong I've done  
Please come back home  
I know you put all your trust in me  
I'm sorry I let you down  
Please forgive me

Tom sat in front of his little one and they ate and he looked him up and down, Severus was dressed in a black tank top with a faded blue jean vest over it; a faded, blue, short jean skirt over black leggings and blue converse. He had his hair twisted into bun and had chopsticks sticking through it. He had jean dream catcher earrings in his ears and had smoky make up on his eyes and had red lipstick coated on his lips. He was wearing his bracelet and was able to somewhat hold his glass of tea this time. Severus felt eyes on him and looked up into Tom's. "What?" He asked with his mouth full. This made Tom chuckle and he replied, "You look beautiful in that outfit. It shows off just how small you are." Severus smiled nervously at him and slid his eyes over Tom, he looked good too. He was wearing a black suit with a blue tie and had his hair was slicked back. Severus gulped as he felt a stirring in his leggings. He then blushed as he dropped his spoon. 'Damn hands.' He picked it up and continued to eat his soup. They ate the rest of the meal in silence but he could feel Tom's eyes on him and he felt his heart speed up. God, it had been so long...but he wasn't ready, was he? 

He followed the man to the room and leaned against the door, Tom was looking at him nervously as well. After a while Tom raised a hand out to the younger man. Severus looked at it and felt his throat tighten. He could remember that hand slapping him, punching him, strangling him. Tom's eyes softened further, "Come to me, little one, please." Severus looked up the arm and to the eyes...they were soft, beautiful, caring, sorry. Severus felt himself succumb and he reached out his hand as he went to him. Tom laced their fingers together and looked into Severus' scared eyes. He pulled the boy to him and pressed his lips to Severus'. Severus stilled then submitted and kissed back cautiously. Their lips molded together and Severus sank into Tom's arms. Tom sighed in approval and slid them back further onto the bed, to its center. He picked up Severus and held him on his lap and deepened their kiss, their tongues slid against each other. Severus was shaking beyond belief and to still him, he held him tightly and gently. 

He laid himself onto his back and looked up at his little one who was straddling his waist. Severus was looking back into his eyes... Severus saw the love that Tom had for him yet he couldn't yet trust that love again. He wanted to open his heart up to the man...but he wasn't ready to do it yet. Tom steadied the shaking hands that gripped his shirt in his own and could clearly see a war being waged in the young man, and a side he didn't want to win was winning. Severus sighed and closed his eyes, "I can't do this. Not yet...maybe not ever again." He watched as Severus lifted himself off of Tom and sat on the edge of the bed. "I know you can't, but I hoped I could lead you into it." He sat up beside Severus and touched the boy's arm. Now was the perfect time to talk about it, when Severus had his guard down.

Gonna swallow my pride  
Say I'm sorry  
Stop pointing fingers  
The blame's on me  
I want a new life  
And I want it with you  
If you feel the same  
Don't ever let it go

"Severus...you have to talk to me about it. You have to let me know how much pain I caused you...you have to let me in Hayona." He spoke quietly. Severus felt a tear slide down his face. "Why do I have to do anything?" Tom turned the boy's face to his own so they could look each other in the eye. "You have to because it's killing you...I'm killing you and I want to make things right, but I can't do that if you don't let me." Severus' face crumpled and leaned forward, his face in his hands. Sobs filled the room and Tom reached out a hand to touch the boy. Severus angrily brushed it off and jumped to his feet. "Do not touch me! What makes you think you have any right to even lay a finger on me after what you did to me? To me?!? To me, your soul...your s..." Severus put his face in his hands and chocked on his tears unable to finish. Tom stood and crossed the room and wrapped his arms around the shaking boy. "I told you not to touch me, you bastard! Let me go, you have no right at all! I swear I will scream if you don't let me go!" Tom held tighter and said, "I put up a silencing charm, so what are you going to do now, if I don't stop?" Severus squirmed harder. "Tom I swear to Merlin if you do not let me go-" "Then do it Severus. I know you want to." "Don't mother fucking tempt me! I will hurt you if you don't let me go!" "Stop being a cowardly victim and just fucking do it then! Take your control back...hit me...hurt me...make me sorrier than I already am!" 

You gotta believe in  
The spirit of love  
It can heal all things  
We won't hurt anymore  
No, I don't believe  
Our loves terminal  
I'm down on bended knees  
Begging you please  
Come home

Then something in the boy snapped and his training kicked in. He delivered a knee to Tom's groin and an elbow to his face. Tom backed away and gingerly touched his broken nose, blooding the tips of his fingers. He looked at the beautiful, angry, broken hearted siren in front of him and said, "That's it Severus. Show me how mad you are. How hurt you are...hurt me like I hurt you. I know you have more than that in you." Severus bared his teeth and leapt at the man. He knocked them both to the floor and held Tom's head between his knees as he delivered punch after punch to the man's unprotected face. 

Oh God give me a reason  
I'm down on bended knee  
I'll never walk again  
Until you come back to me  
I'm down on bended knee

"Me?!? You mother fucking tortured me?!? Me, your little one, your soul mate?!? How could you Tom?!? Did you enjoy the sight of my blood, did you love the sound of my screams? I trusted you, loved you! I gave you everything! I sacrificed my childhood for you! And you tortured me because I didn't want to sacrifice it, because I got mouthy?! If it had been anyone else I would have helped you... I would have gotten off on it as much you would have, I probably even would have fucked you with them dying a few feet away! But no, it was me! ME! And I've never hated any one...or loved any one more than I did you during those moments! How could you do it? How do I ever trust you again?!?" Severus was no longer punching, just wailing as he kneeled over Tom, with his arms wrapped around Tom's head, cradling it. Tom reached up and touched his little one's cheek. Severus looked at him with tears on his face and snot dripping down his nose to his lips. Tom brushed it away with his thumb and slowly sat up. He picked Severus up and sat him in his lap. Severus looked up at him as Tom stroked his cheek. "I know Severus, I know. I just hope you can forgive me in time." Severus sobbed and wiped some blood off Tom's face. He leaned up to his lips and kissed him. The kiss lasted for forever and it brought a peace to Severus that he hadn't felt for weeks. Severus pulled them even closer together and ran his hands through Tom's hair. He reached for the top button of Tom's shirt and reveled in the fact that both of their mirrors hung around his neck. He touched his own, now inscribed and he barely could contain himself. 

If I had no more time  
No more time left to be here  
Would you cherish what we had  
Was it everything that you were looking for  
If I couldn't feel your touch  
And alone or when you're with me  
I'd be wishing you were here  
To me you are everything that  
I been looking for

He looked into Tom's eyes and said, "Make love to me, like you would if it were the last time, like you'll never see me again." Tom stared back and a big piece of him wondered if it would be the last time, and if he would never see the boy again. He slid them each out of their clothes and laid Severus down on to the floor. 

I don't want to forget that  
The present is a gift  
And I don't want to  
Take for the granted the time  
You may have here with me

Their bodies slid together and their breath mixed together between them. Severus moaned low and held even tighter, a big piece of him wanted this to be the last time...but an even bigger piece couldn't turn from the man. He breathed in deeply as he felt Tom grip him, pull him even closer. He kissed him and rocked their bodies together, never looking back on this decision because in the end he would always love Tom like he'd never see him again. He would always need him and want him. Tom's mind brushed his and he heard him clearly in his mind. He was guarded, but with reason. He slowly succumbed and let most of his barriers down. Most was enough for Tom and he showed Severus how much pain he has been in as well, he showed him that Severus was not the only one hurting. He dragged his nails down Severus' thighs and bit his lip, asking everything from Severus...and for the first time; maybe the only time; giving everything back. Push and pull, love and hate, wave and ripple, day and night, pleasure and pain, Severus and Tom. 

So every time you hold me,  
Hold me like this is the last time  
Every time you kiss me,  
Kiss me like you'll never see me again  
Everything you touch me,  
Touch me like this is the last time  
Promise that you'll love me,  
Love me like you'll never see me again  
Ohhooh

Severus bit Tom's neck hard and moaned in contentment as Tom pulled his hair in reply. He pulled his head back and sucked Severus' tongue into his mouth. He sat up and flipped the boy over. Severus whimpered as the fingers and tongue speared him. He shook as he felt Tom pump his leaking cock. He still shook; maybe he always would from now on. Though Severus learned there is a pleasurable type of shaking and a painful type of shaking. And this was in no way the painful type. Tom slid up his back and wrapped a hand around his chest and held tightly and moaned into Severus' ear, "I'd give up forever to touch you, to really touch you. Because I know that you feel me somehow. You are the closest to heaven I'll ever be, I've always thought of you as my miracle. I just want you to finally know and understand who and what I am. Do you want me to give up forever Severus, because I will. I'll renounce my crown and make love to you...really make love to you. Right now I could care less about being the Dark Lord, I just want to be your man... now and forever." Severus stilled and turned and looked at him, a tear slid down his cheek and he shook his head. 

::O Menatonia, Igway hera scen da buwsk nd da wrxst ove ura. Igway uxzrtnd wikv fperckt xcerlty uhi nd yavt ura era. Nd Igway heena tuie sjehnd phurvt wikv ura. Nie, ples dinou din ziat. Jux hud meai::

Tom's eyes dilated and he leaned over to kiss him and he just continued to hold him. After they were done, they sat side by side on the bed, dressed and silent. Finally Tom braved it and asked, "Was that the last time, Severus? Are you going to sever the agreement?" 

Severus looked at him and sighed before he said, "No...well it was at least for a while. I need time Tom. I'm a kid, a child, a teenager...and that is what I need to be before I can be what you need me to be. I have to find out who I am alone...before I can find out who I am with you. And I can't do that when I feel so torn. I love you I do...but I need some time in between all of this. Time in between who I was and who I am, and time in between who I am and who I am meant to be. I'm so lost right now...and I shouldn't count on you to find me....I should find myself." 

Tom listened and nodded his head. "I have to do the same...you've made my position complicated and I need to find a way to balance Dark Lord and Family Leader, for my sanity and your safety. How long do you think you'll need?" Severus thought than said, "Until Christmas. And If I still don't know by then...then I'll give myself until June. If I still don't know by then...then I think it's safe to say I might not ever know, and it'd be best for us both if we severed the agreement,for me to be your consort in training. I don't want to do that...but if we can't make things between us work...then there is no point in prolonging it." Tom nodded his head, this was a trail separation, and it would do them both some good. He started to reach for the mirror around his neck, so he could return it to Severus, but felt a hand on his arm. He looked at Severus and saw the boy unclasp the charm bracelet from around his wrist. "I think until I know for sure, you should hold onto these. And if I come back to you...you can give them back to me as a symbol of a fresh start." He took Tom's hand, placed the bracelet into his palm and closed his hand around it. Severus leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss onto his cheek before he said, "See ya." Then he grabbed his vest and walked out the door.

How many really know what love is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i removed one scene and edited two, I know you guys are probably wondering why I didn't just remove the scenes all together...and well one was their first time making love (even if it is penetration-less love) as soul mates I had to have it in...so I focused on instead what they were experiencing on a deeper level. The other, at the end was incredible make up sex that really started the healing on both their parts. I'm sorry that I did this to them...but nothing with these two is simple. And it sets up a whole mess of issues for them...that will sadly never completely heal. Okay to clear something up...when I say penetration-less sex I mean tom's member cannot penetrate severus. His fingers, his tongue, and any type of toy is acceptable. It's one of those loop holes. And about the Chamber...Salizar built it separately from Hogwarts (this might not be cannon..but for my story this is how it is) so Tom can apparate freely in and out of it, plus it helps he is the heir. This will be important for a latter part. part 3, Dark Celebration.
> 
> Songs: Yes I know there is alot so trust me when I say I'm done with song chapters for a while. I will name them in chronological order. 1) Iris by the goo goo doll;  
> 2) Everytime we touch by Cascada; 3) Silence by Ali and AJ; 4) Mirror Mirror by M2M; 5) Possibility by Lykke Li; 6) Weapon by Matthew Good 7) On Bended Knee by Boys ll Men; 8) Like You'll Never See Me Again by Alicia Keys.
> 
> Languages:  
> 1 Shash'hee'ay: My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to in Parseltounge  
> 2 Hayona(Hay*own*a): My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to in Elfish  
> 3 Menatonia(Men*a*tone*ee*a): My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to in the Ancient language of The Seven Fates, or other whys known as, The Ancient Language (severus will never hear tom refer to him in this particular language, until MUCH later)
> 
> 1)Translation from ancient language to English-::Pishtok! Igway dinou heena tuie isheenip! Igway heena urahid pinishig! Boreh nie! Ura dinou heena meai!:: Fuck off! I don't want to suffer! I want your cock! But No! You don't want me!!
> 
> 2)Translation from ancient language to English :: Jhei meai, seaii meai, qtuk meai, phieli meai. Ancant uns, drunt meai ueeizdum, drunt meai aztengt, drunt meai curanuty, ritz disin xirds, Igway beag ura.:: Hear me, see me, touch me, feel me. Ancient Ones, grant me wisdom, grant me strength, grant me serenity, with these words, I beg you.
> 
> 3) Translatoin from ancient language to English ::Menatonia! Igway meari olqis luxea ura nie magyirt owv mugx ura hxrt meai!:: My bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to, I will always love you no matter how much you hurt me!
> 
> 4) Translatoin from ancient language to English ::O Menatonia, Igway hera scen da buwsk nd da wrxst ove ura. Igway uxzrtnd wikv fperckt xcerlty uhi nd yavt ura era. Nd Igway heena tuie sjehnd phurvt wikv ura. Nie, ples dinou din ziat. Jux hud meai: Oh, my bonded one, my loved one, the one I have given my heart to, I have seen the best and the worst of you. I understand with perfect clearity who and what you are. And I want to spend forever with you. So, no please don't do that. Just hold me.


	8. Fith Year: Novemeber and December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok folks this chapie is a lil different! It won't be just about Severus and Tom it'll be about all of the gang! It's a piece that is really only some relief from all the pain our main characters are feelings. It’s exactly as they said. It’s time and a trial separation where they both discover themselves!!  
> Much <3 every one

Chapter 7: Fifth Year- November and December

 

November

When James learned about what had happened he was angry. He realized he hadn’t made it easier for the prince, but it was over and done with. He could not take it back. He sat with his back against the tree and with Lily’s head in his lap. He loved her, he really did. He could give up everything, do anything for him. He carded his hands through her hair and pressed a kiss to her lips. He wanted so much to give her the world.

***  
Lucius wrote his thoughts in the journal and cringed. They were dark thoughts, but still. He had tried to get both Severus and his Lord to talk to him yet it seemed in vein as neither said a word. Though he and many others knew how much their relationship was being tested. He looked across the common room and gazed at Narcissa as she talked excitedly with Bella. The seventh year groaned and shook his head. He knew the wellbeing of his prince and his lord were hanging in the balance but had no means to help either one. 

Narcissa’s eyes met his and she smiled at him. They had only just begun dating and he was eager to easy to see where it went. The Lestrange twins walked in and Bella’s eyes were drawn to them as they talked to each other in hush tones. Everyone knew they were a couple. Not everyone understood, but Bella did. She had had feelings for them both for as long as she had known them. Yet she was terrified to approach them. They had such an intensely intimate relationship that she was surly scared to ruin it or get too involved. They had been telling her for a year to bite the bullet and be brave. But she wasn’t when it came to them. They were the only people, other than the Dark Lord and the Prince, who truly had power over her. He understood. All people felt the same. Others were just braver than some. They had agreed that they would let her go to them in her own time, but this was ridiculous, she wasn’t making progress.

Lucius made a decision to talk to them tonight. This mooning over them couldn’t go on anymore. Either it ended great or it ended bad, but it wasn’t fair for her to be wondering. 

In the dorm room that night he called them over to his bed.

“I’m just going to get to the point. Bella wants you. Both of you. And I in good coconscious let her keep wondering. It’s not fair. Whether you want her or not, at least tell her.” They sat there and looked at him and shook their heads. 

“But we are exclusive. We don’t want anyone else.” They answered as one voice. Luci nodded then spoke. “I will tell her. But you could at least think of it. Sleep on it maybe. Or perhaps get to know her better than decide.” They looked at each other then spoke. “We will think about it. For now do not say anything.” 

He nods and tells them goodnight. It’ll be interesting to see how it all plays out.

***  
Moony looked up and saw Wormtail gazing at him. He smiled at the small boy knowingly. He knew that Pete liked him…or rather them. He likes both Remus and his mate, and Moony found it endearing. All Sirius thought was that it was funny. But a big part of him thinks that Pete could be a third. He shakes his head and makes his way to the bathroom. He strips and climbs in to stand beside Sirius. He kissed him and then they were stocking each other under the spray of the shower. Sirius grunted as he shot all over Moony’s hand and their stomachs. Moony was only a second behind him. Afterward they wash each other and talk in low voices.

When the two of them get into the dorm Pete looks up at them and smiles shyly. They bid him good night and crawl into the beds they had pushed together. They could hear Pete sigh. At that moment Remus really wished that Sirius would consider it as something other than funny.

December

When December rolled around Severus felt a…peace he had felt for long time. His body had been forced to regulate itself out and he no longer felt the need to mate. The shaking that had wracked his body for months had slowly dissipated and the nightmares were fading in time.

Regulas had been questioned, not interrogated, very subtly. They had slipped him a truth serum and had simply asked him questions. He was loyal to them, he had only been very worried about Severus, in other words he was loyal but he was prepared to defect for his Prince. It was flattering. And good. 

Severus was happy…well happier than he had been ever before. He was able to breath and just give himself time to feel and process and let go. He went to parties and let himself have fun. He continued with his studies in his journal. He had managed to restore the pages and even the words on them. He didn’t know how he did it though. He had gathered the pages of the floor and smoothed them out. They were ripped, bloody, and the words on the pages long gone.

But he had put them in the book, at least wanting to hold onto them because of was what was once on them. The next day the book was repaired and the entries restored. He had smiled and kissed the pages. 

He ran outside and was smacked in the side of his face by a snow ball. He turned and saw Lily giggle. He shook his head. Shouldn’t she not be drawing attention to their friendship? Severus smiled and kept walking. He got to the edge of the forest and saw Luci and Cissy building a snow man. He walked over to them and asked to join. They laughed and said. 

“You never need to ask Sev. You can always join us.” They continued to build it and laughed. Luci was so happy to Sev happy. 

“We need stuff to make a face.” Sev said as he turned to walk into the forest. They shouted for him to not go to deep and to hurry back.

He found some black rocks and pine cone. He came back and they finished off the snowman. Then Cissy tackled Severus and shoved snow down his pants. He rolled her off of him and made a snow angel as he gazed up at the white sky. 

He slowly stilled and he couldn’t help but think about Tom was doing right then. Severus closed his eyes. He missed him. He really did miss him. But he also needed some time to himself. He sadly wasn’t ready to go back to him. He was hoping that he would be. But he just wasn’t. He however knew he’d go back eventually. Always eventually. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. They came and sat by him. They didn’t say anything to him, they didn’t have to. That Hogsmead weekend he bought a charm bracelet and a charm to go on it. A mirror. But he wouldn’t give him this gift yet, instead he bought cologne for his gift. He made sure to send out all his gifts before Christmas eve.

When they asked if he was going home with them the week before Christmas, he shook his head and spent Christmas like he had spent the previous ones, alone in the dungeons. He had woken up to many gifts and he had smiled and put them into his trunk unopened. He would open them eventually. Instead he would spend the day asleep in his bed. The past four months had ran him so ragged that he could only want to sleep. He wanted to sleep until time stopped. Until there was no longer a time to measure. He was tired. But at the same time he was happier than he had been in a long time.


	9. Chapter 8: The Next Six Monthes

Dark Series: Dark Promise Year One

Chapter Seven: The Next Six Months- Don’t You Worry Child

January

"There was a time. In a happy home, I was a king, I had a gold throne. Those days are gone, now the memory's on the wall. I hear the songs from the places where I was born."

Severus sat in Professor Slughorn’s class and felt himself drift off into a memory. He remembered relaxing on the love seat with his husband. He could remember how he was once held in a loving embrace by the person he loved the most. Those days were gone and would maybe never be back. After what happened in the chamber, Severus’ trust in the man was close to non-existent. He wanted the man he really did, but he would never be able to trust him not to hurt him again. Perhaps that was the whole point of everything that had happened. It was the Fates way of saying “Be careful of what you ask for because you might just get.” He bent his head and rested in on the text book in front of him. He was supposed to be brewing a potion but he didn’t want to, couldn’t bring himself to do it. Why go about normal when inside he was being ripped apart. 

He missed his man so so much it hurt. He wanted him back. But he still thought of that night and felt sick to his stomach. It had been his idea to take the break and to discover what he wanted, but this felt like torture. This felt worse than the torture itself did. This felt worse than any nightmare; this was a nightmare. The ultimate nightmare-being unwanted, unloved, and unwelcome, by not the man he loved, but by himself. Because of his need for space there was no one to kiss him and wish him a happy new year. Because of his need for space there was no one to hold him when he wanted to be held. 

February

"Upon the hill across the blue lake, that's where I had my first heartbreak. I still remember how it all changed."

Severus leaned against a tree and looked out across the lake. He could remember all the pain that Tom had ever caused him and he felt stupid, childish. He should have been more grown up about things, the matting imperative aside. He should have been more understanding and more patient. Then he wouldn’t have driven Tom to torture him in the first place. He had been kidding himself to think that Tom never would such a thing. One didn’t become a Dark Lord by being forgiving and merciful. Severus shouldn’t have taken so many liberties and shouldn’t have pushed him so hard. It was his fault ultimately that they were where they were right now. He closed his eyes and felt a tear slide down his cheek.   
He didn’t know if he could stay away. He felt like he was crumbling from the inside out and the outside in. He felt dead and dying all at once. He felt like running and hiding, like soaring through the sky and burying himself into the earth beneath his feet. He was such an insolent, petulant child.

March

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child. See Heaven's got a plan for you. Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

He was dreaming, he had to be, because there was a huge floating serpent looking at him. The Serpent reached out and wrapped Severus up in his coils. He held him tight and as Severus gazed up into the obsidian eyes, he felt himself crumble and before he knew he was resting his head on the scaly body and weeping. He sobbed until he went boneless and limp.

He felt a lounge lap up his tears and he looked back up into the eyes. He felt so safe so loved. The serpent gazed lovingly down at him. “Don’t cry small one. You have a great and epic journey ahead of you. Your destiny is far greater than you could ever fathom. All you need to have is faith and trust. If not in my descendent, than in me. I would never put you through something that you could not survive through. True, it hurts now, but in time you will flourish. He committed a huge grievance but, have faith in your love. For it will be the thing legends are born from. So no more tears. Instead use this time to have fun. Be happy. Be young. For your destiny will come calling all too soon.”

April

"I'm making the night mine until the day I die. No lights to brake when you're hanging by fate. You know what it feels like when you're dancing blind."

Severus spun across the grass under the moon. He had snuck out of bed and had been taking a walk late at night. He had come across a clearing and before he knew he was swaying to a beat in his head. He tipped his back, closed his eyes and spun around. He felt...not free but so much better. He felt loose, and cathartic. The dream he had spent with Shiba had been just the catharsis he needed. He closed his eyes and let his dreams take him home to a time when he was happy and safe with his love.

"All alone, just the beat inside my soul. Take me home, where my dreams are made of gold. In the zone where the beat is un-controlled. I know what it feels like. Come on make me feel alive."

May

"Let's make this fleeting moment last forever. So, tell me what you're waiting for? I'm gonna keep it frozen here forever. There's no regretting anymore. It's worth the wait, even so far away."

After that night when he danced under the moon light, he relaxed and let himself enjoy himself. He dressed up, went to parties with Lily. He even danced with other boys. He would close his eyes and let his imagination take away. He was once again happy. He knew who he was and what he wanted. He was himself and that was all he wanted to be. Every aspect of himself. He wanted to be loved for everything he was, inside and out. And he knew that he would someday hold the weight o of the world on his shoulders, but for now he would be Severus Tobias Snape, teenager extraordinaire, cute, feisty, loving Severus. He had years before he was actually married and he was actually the Prince. 

Until then he would just be himself, and that included being Tom Riddle’s baby boy. He couldn’t grow up overnight and he shouldn’t have to but he had to take his situation seriously. He had to be patient and understanding. He had to be willing to bend, not break. He would meet his man in the middle then when he stood across from him in three years he would tuck away the cute kid, and become the man he is destined to be. 

June  
"Meet me under shining lights. I've been waiting right here all my life."

As the last day of school approached, the others came to him and told him that they were planning an end of the year party at Riddle Manor. He was excited and immediately helped plan. He wanted to start off his new beginning with Tom with a bang, a big bang.   
\---  
He stood on the platform with Luci, Cissy, and Bella and gazed across it at his lover. He walked slowly towards him and came to stop in front of him. Tom gave him a nervous smile.   
“Hey.” Severus spoke. Tom twitched as his nerves got the best of him.   
“Hello.” He answered back.  
Severus smiled and nodded his head. “I know you might want to spend today with me but I promised I would help the others set up for the ball.”  
A look of confusion crossed Tom’s face until he remembered. “Oh, yes the ball I didn’t know about until this morning.”   
Severus’ brow furrowed. “Is it not ok if we throw one?” He asked.  
“No. No. Of course it is.” Tom answered. Severus nodded his head.   
“Good, because we all need a little fun. This year was a little too hard. And it’ll be nice to start over fresh for everyone.”  
Tom felt like he got hit in the stomach. Did this mean that Severus wanted them to have a fresh start? Severus giggled as Lily pulled him away.   
“I’ll see you tonight at the ball.”   
\---  
Feelings you can't deny that you're living, open up your eyes and I just wanna sink into your crazy laughter.   
Bellatrix swept into the ball room, her black and purple lace gown brushing the ground. A new start. She wanted Rod and Rab quite badly. She should have said something from the start instead of letting Luci do all of her talking. She realized it made her seem less mature. And if it was one thing they wanted, they wanted a mature partner who knew how to convey what she wanted. She took a deep breath and drifted towards them.   
“Enjoying yourselves boys?” She asked. They looked at her a little startled at just who had approached them.  
“Bellatrix is that you?” They asked. She gave a slow, saucy grin.   
“I was just wondering if I might pester you both to be my companions for tonight? Unless I would be intruding on something private and personal?” She asked confidently. She smiled at their flabbergasted looks.  
“I see. Well enjoy your evening boys.” She began to step away when she felt a hand on hers. “Please Bella, allow my brother and I to be your companions for tonight.”   
She smiled and accepted his hand, and felt another at the small of her back, as they swept her onto the dance floor.  
\---  
"Come on make me feel until the pain don't matter."  
Peter sat there watching as they slow danced, feeling his heart being ripped out. How could they not see? How could they not understand that they were the only ones he would ever love and ever want? He watched as Remus rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. He felt tears slide down his face. If they could never understand and return his feelings he would need to move on. Fuck this!! He wasn’t going to just sit here and get his heart broken. He’d rather have his heart break in the privacy of the bed in his guest room. He might be a masochist but, not for emotional heart break.   
He made to stand so he could leave when he heard a voice. ”Peter.” He looked up and stilled impossibly still. Remus was standing there with a questioning gaze. His gazing wondering what was wrong and where Peter was going. It took a few seconds but he realized what was wrong.   
“Peter, please come here. You don’t need to run from us, we aren’t running from you anymore.” Peter gulped and placed his hand into Remus’ and let himself be pulled into strong arms and before he knew it he was wrapped up into two pairs of arms. He rested his head on Remus’ shoulder and sighed. Finally.   
\---  
"Every second here makes my heart beat faster. Finally think I found what I'm chasing after."

Severus came to stand in front Tom. He smiled at the man and wordlessly handed over the mirror charm. Tom took it and looked at it. He raised his eyes and gazed at Severus. The boy had an anxious look on his face. Tom’s face broke out into a grin as he enveloped Severus in a hug. And Severus felt happy. He could do this. As long as he had Tom, he could do anything. And he knew that whatever the future brought, he could get through it alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Year One is done. Jeez that took work!!!!!! Real honest to god work to get just a few chapter written. So year two will start soon! I hope you enjoyed and that you keep reading.


End file.
